Past Tense: Future Imperfect
by Nike Femme
Summary: Post AC. You cannot kill a memory. The only way to eliminate it…is to prevent it from ever happening at all. SephirothxCloud. Eventually. May go up to an Mrating in later chapters.
1. Numb

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Not making any money from this. Love the thought of Sephiroth and Cloud, they'd be so good for each other. Please leave me a review if you like the story.

Author's Note: This story begins towards the end of _FFVII: Advent Children_, the movie continuation by Square Enix of their hit game, _Final Fantasy VII_. It is quite possibly the most gorgeous CGI-movie I have ever seen, and I highly recommend watching it (and rewatching it, and rewatching it). I recently took my own advice, and also watched a behind-the-scenes special in which the many brilliant minds behind Final Fantasy got to give their thoughts about their amazing collaborate creation. And some of what they said got me thinking. And for anyone reading this, here's the fractured stream of thought that occurred:

In the movie, after beating back Sephiroth yet again, Cloud is shot by Yazoo and has a near-death experience in the Lifestream. Aeris sends him back and the planet heals him and all the victims of Geostigma. But what if she hadn't? Cloud's desire to return to existence seemed nebulous, to say the least. And what-if, just what-if when Tifa asked, "Why must we lose out to a memory?", she had been referring to Sephiroth and not to Aeris? Especially given Cloud's last words to Sephiroth, "Stay in my memories where you belong," and the One-Winged-Angel's reply, "I will never be a memory."

And so it begins. You cannot kill a memory. The only way to eliminate it…is for it to never happen in the first place

_**PAST TENSE; FUTURE IMPERFECT

* * *

**_

_**Chapter 1: Numb**_

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
Become so tired, so much more aware  
I'm becoming this, all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you_

- "_Numb", Linkin Park_

The weight in Cloud Strife's arms lessened abruptly as a pale but joyful smile stole over Kadaj's face. "Mother?" he murmured, reaching for something – someone? – Cloud could not see, and then the younger man was gone, his upraised hand dissolving into the twining green beams of the Lifestream. Cloud stood slowly, watching the last fragments of Kadaj's essence disappear, blinking as a light rain began to fall on his upturned face.

It was over.

Was it over?

He thought about that even as the cool dampness against his face seemed to answer in the affirmative, trickling down his cheeks as if to wash away tears, although whether of joy or sorrow, he could not say.

"_I will never be a memory."_

Ah, Sephiroth. The one-winged angel, master of the pithy one-liner. For some reason, the thought struck him as being incredibly amusing, though he couldn't quite find the energy to laugh.

Thing is though, Sephiroth probably meant what he said - this was, after all, the third time Cloud had faced him. Tifa would probably come up with some platitude about third time being the charm and all that, but Cloud had the feeling that Sephiroth was unlikely to take old wives' aphorisms to heart when plotting his return. The man had a will like no other – how else could one explain his repeated resurrections from the Lifestream? Even Aeris hadn't managed that, and she was a Cetra. That indomitable strength in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles was what Cloud lov…admired. _Had_ admired. Because he certainly didn't admire him now. Right? He ignored the heaviness in his chest determinedly, closing his eyes against the brightness of the sky. Ifrit, he was tired. Bone weary. And so very numb.

Cid Highwind's latest baby was hovering above him, and the blonde man looked up, knowing that his ex-AVALANCHE comrades were likely waving to him from the ship even if he couldn't see them. Well, Yuffie would be, at least. He started to return the unseen gesture listlessly, wanting to let them know that he was all right, when a blow from behind brought him to his knees. Even as he crumpled, he recognized the feeling – he'd been shot enough times to remember the gut-wrenching way it knocked the wind right out of your lungs. Funny, it didn't really seem to hurt very much, he thought dizzily, although the ground did seem to be coming up to meet him with disconcerting speed. He heard, rather than felt, his sword fall from his hand with a metallic clatter, heard Yazoo and Loz gasping something faintly about them all going together to see Mother. Guess they took the bonds of family love _very_ seriously, he thought wryly, and then everything around him seemed to haze out into a blanket of endless white. That was all right. It was better than the greyness of the ruins of Midgar.

He didn't know how long he had been floating in a soothing sea of blankness when he felt a cool hand on his forehead. It reminded him of the way his mother used to feel whenever he had a fever and she would calm his thrashing with her touch, and he mumbled without opening his eyes, "Mother?"

A familiar girlish giggle with just a touch of exasperation. "Why does everyone keep calling me 'Mother' today?"

"Isn't that a good thing? You're obviously well loved," replied an amused drawl that seemed just as familiar. It was warm and reassuring, and brought forth memories of piercing blue eyes topped by a shock of unruly dark hair just beginning to grey with the silvery sheen brought on by Mako exposure.

"I don't need a child as old as this one!" the first voice retorted petulantly.

He panicked. He didn't want to leave this place. It was safe here. No one could bother him. He struggled to say something, but his lips wouldn't move.

An answering sigh. "Sorry buddy – you heard the lady. Looks like there's no place for you here…."

_No. No. _"No! Wait!" And with that exclamation, Cloud was suddenly on his feet, stumbling forward, kicking up flowers under his feet. He looked around wildly, recognizing his surroundings. A field of white and yellow lilies, far as the eye could see, their bobbing heads vivid against the glossy green leaves - it was Aeris's garden, the one he'd seen in his dreams – or hallucinations, since you couldn't call them dreams if you were awake when you had them. And sure enough, the lady herself was standing there, a little ways away, a faint half-smile curving her lips, her auburn bangs moving lightly in the warm breeze that brushed over his face like a benediction.

"You came. Even though you're about to break. That's a good sign." Her voice was as he remembered it, gentle and calm.

He took a hesitant step towards her, then stopped. "You've said that before."

"It doesn't make it less true."

He thought about that. He seemed to be doing a lot of thinking lately. Not brooding, which was what he had been doing the last two years. Just thinking. "I suppose you're right."

"You look better this time though. Have you found what you wanted?"

He thought about that, too. "I'm not sure. Have I?"

"Only you can answer that, Cloud," chided Aeris with mock severity. "I can't do it for you. Do you remember what it was you wanted?"

"I…think I wanted to be forgiven. By you. By Zack. By everyone."

"Who is everyone?"

He frowned. "I don't know. Tifa. Vincent. Everyone."

Aeris Gainsborough shook her head in exasperation, although the fond light never left her eyes. "Oh Cloud. Still the same. Still trying to take on the sins of the world and asking for forgiveness from everyone but the one person who matters." She sighed. "Well, if it helps…I've never forgiven you. Because there was never anything to forgive. So if you want forgiveness, I think you're going to have to ask someone else for it. I'm all out."

He stared at her numbly. She raised a dark brow at him, then turned and addressed what appeared to be the empty air by her shoulder. "Was he always this tongue-tied even before I met him?"

"Who, Spikey?" asked a hearty voice, and Cloud's eyes widened with shock as a familiar figure shimmered into existence beside Aeris, arms folded across a broad chest, eyes of mako blue smiling cheerfully. "You have no idea. At one point I thought we'd have to start communicating in sign language. Still, he didn't turn out so badly – they say it's the quiet cadets you should watch. _He_ was much the same, you know."

Cloud wondered briefly who _he_ was – he didn't think Zack was referring to him from the way the SOLDIER had stressed the pronoun. But that thought got lost very quickly in the wave of joy, and pain, and guilt that washed over him, causing the world started to tilt crazily around him again as he staggered with the sheer intensity of the unaccustomed deluge of emotion.

"Whoa, steady there, Spikey," and Zack was suddenly by his side holding him up. His gloved hands were reassuringly real as they wrapped easily around Cloud's arm. "You've had a rough day. Come on, why don't we sit down for a bit, eh?"

Cloud nodded dumbly and allowed his friend to lower him gently to the ground. The SOLDIER took a seat next to him, sprawling out ungracefully and plucking a blade of grass to chew on as Aeris glided over gracefully to join them, spreading her skirt out neatly before folding her hands primly in her lap. The scene seemed so…_normal_. For a long moment, no one spoke. To his consternation, Cloud felt tears starting to well up in his eyes, and he ducked his head to hide them as Aeris clucked softly.

"It's all right, Cloud. You don't have to be strong all the time."

"Yeah, kid," added Zack. "It's just us here anyway. Who would we tell? Besides, Yazoo and Loz cry all the time. I don't know how Kadaj deals with it."

The blonde swallowed hard, jaw working as he struggled to find words to match the turmoil within him.

"I missed you. So much," and his voice broke as Zack sat up and threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling the younger man in for a hug which was fiercely returned, much to Zack's evident surprise – Cloud was generally not the most demonstrative of individuals. "Both of you…I couldn't save you…." As always, the extroverted SOLDIER had a way of breaking through his brittle shell of apathy, and though the aching hollowness in his chest was not lessened, the frozen winter of his emotions was beginning to thaw. Or perhaps it had already started back by the pool when Vincent had confronted him. His mind shied away from Vincent's striking resemblance to another man who had always been able to draw forth his emotions with a look.

"Geez, kid, knock it off – the guilt thing's getting old!" Zack laughed, rubbing Cloud's back comfortingly. "And I never asked you to live out my life for me, y'know – much rather do it myself. Oh, oops," and he massaged his temples in embarrassment as Cloud's eyes darkened with misery. "Damn, Spikey, it's like tiptoeing around a minefield talking to you when you're like this. Look, none of it was your fault. Destiny has to play out the way it's meant to. 'sides, it's kind of nice here – lots of flowers and things, Aeris has a real green thumb. Good thing the mako takes care of allergies, eh? Now if only we could do something about the food…."

Shooting her companion a mock glare, Aeris patted Cloud's thigh comfortingly. "And we're here now. We've always been here, Cloud. Even when you were most alone…."

He looked down, unable to meet her pellucid gaze. "I've been so lonely…so tired."

"Aw, come on Spikey, that's your own fault," nudged Zack gently. "You've been avoiding your friends the last two years, and you weren't much better as a cadet! Don't think ol' Zack isn't keeping an eye on you just because he isn't around, you know." He leered and waggled his eyebrows at his young friend. "Ol' Zack Knightblade here can go anywhere, see anything from up here – even what you get up to in the bedro – ow!" he yelped as Aeris smacked him smartly upside the head, her serene half-smile not wavering from her lips.

Cloud glared at his friend, but a faint smile touched his lips. "I'd forgotten how annoying you could be whenever you'd talk about yourself in the third person."

"Who? Ol' Zack?" laughed his friend, eliciting a giggle from Aeris as Cloud rolled his eyes. It felt good to smile again, even if his cheeks did feel as though they might crack from the effort.

"Save the Planet again and this is the thanks I get. See if I do anything about it the next time, why don't you. Perhaps I should go back after all," Cloud moaned in mock frustration.

"You could," said Aeris calmly, toying with the end of her braid. "Actually, you should…."

"Don't!" snapped Cloud, and the sudden hostility made both brunettes eye him oddly. The blonde ran his fingers agitatedly through his wild mane, his anger gone as swiftly as it had come. "Just…don't. Please."

"Don't what, Cloud?" asked the Cetra gently.

"Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't do," and the dullness in Cloud's husky tenor made his audience frown. He rested his head on his drawn-up knees, blonde spikes drooping gloomily. "Not here, please - I'm tired of being what everyone wants me to be back there, I don't want to have to think about it here, too. Wherever here is."

Aeris and Zack exchanged glances, but it was the latter who finally spoke up. "You know where we are, kid. And what is it that they want you to be?"

"Oh, I don't know," Cloud muttered with uncharacteristic sarcasm, not raising his head, so that the other two had to strain to hear his muffled words. "Rufus Shinra wants the ex-SOLDIER to do his dirty work. Yuffie wants me to be perky and happy _all the damn time_, and that probably goes for most of AVALANCHE. I just got chased around Edge and Midgar by a trio of wannabe Sephiroths determined on having me join the family reunion and reminding me of my status as a puppet. And then there's Tifa, who keeps trying to make me into some idealized version of a hero even though I've told her that I'm not that person she sees in her head. Every single message she leaves sounds just the same, 'Where are you? Why aren't you coming home? I know you want to be here with me. Why do you keep running away? We need you, Cloud,'" he mimicked exasperatedly. "She must never have gotten the memo about actions speaking louder than words. I'm at my wits end – I don't know what more I can do to make her happy! I. Just. Want. To be. Left. Alone." His voice was bleak in its self-pity, although it was more animated than it had been prior to his outburst. "I don't deserve to be with anyone."

Zack looked at him gravely, but his lips were twitching as he leaned forward and said, deadpan, "Have you considered getting an unlisted number?"

Cloud lifted his head and stared dumbly at him, mouth agape. Aeris's lips were pressed tightly together, though her grey eyes were dancing with mirth. Zack shrugged. "What, it worked for me whenever I had to get a chick off my back. At least until I met Aeris and didn't have to worry about _that_ anymore." The Cetra beamed her approval and reached over to lace her fingers through Zack's, nodding in agreement.

"The first time another girl called him while he was with me, I grabbed his phone and dumped it into my watering can. No phone, no calls."

"And what about if _I_ needed to make a call?" huffed Zack in mock indignation, eyes twinkling.

"Oh please, it wasn't as if there were no public phones on the base," Aeris snorted delicately. "And _he_ always let you use his phone if you needed it, remember?"

The blonde stared at the sweetly smiling Cetra, whose benign exterior apparently concealed a very possessive girlfriend. And then, much to his own surprise, Cloud began to laugh. He laughed until tears came to his eyes and he was breathless, falling backwards into the field of sweetly scented flowers, gasping for air, and if there was an edge of hysteria to it, Aeris and Zack were too polite to comment on it, being enlightened beings in the Lifestream and all.

And suddenly he didn't feel quite so numb.

* * *

"He looks so peaceful," Tifa sighed, smoothing back a wayward strand of hair that had fallen over Cloud's face, her hand lingering on his forehead longer than was strictly necessary. The blonde's face was pale but relaxed in repose, the lines of pain and loss that radiated from the corners of his too-old eyes fading and making him look years younger. His chest rose and fell almost imperceptibly as he breathed shallowly, but the mako that still flowed through his veins was already hard at work, and the unnerving rattling in his chest had already faded from when they had first brought him back to 7th Heaven. "Shouldn't he have woken up by now though?" 

"He'll wake when he's ready. Come, Tifa. Leave him be – he'll heal faster." Vincent's tone was flat, brooking no refusals. Tifa was always up for one anyway.

"I can't leave him alone, he needs me."

"He needs _rest_, and he's not going to get any with you fussing over him like that." His voice was not unkind, but a spark of irritation was clearly visible in his crimson eyes. "Tifa, you have to stop projecting on him like that."

"I am not!" she snapped. "Why can't you see that…."

"Take it outside, you two," Cid growled softly from the door. The gruff pilot had a surprisingly gentle touch when it came to fixing up broken things, people included, and he had been the one to treat Cloud's wounds as best they could with their limited supplies. He'd be damned if his handiwork was undone by two knuckleheads – well, one knucklehead, he amended; Vincent had been trying to get Tifa to leave the kid alone, after all. He shot the tall man a sympathetic look, which was answered with a wry half-shrug.

Vincent gestured politely for Tifa to precede him, and after a venomous glare, she did so. The ex-TURK rolled his eyes and followed her out and down to the closed bar area, mentally preparing himself to reason with someone who was evidently disinclined to be reasonable. The sun slanted in through the cracks in the shutters, giving the room a warm and inviting glow, in stark contrast to the reluctance with which the two comrades walked in. Tifa immediately headed to her usual station behind the bar, waving Vincent carelessly towards the corner stool.

"Want a drink?"

"No, thank you," he demurred. She nodded curtly and poured herself a slug of something out of one of the bottles, knocking it back. It seemed a little early to be touching the hard stuff, in Vincent's opinion, but he supposed they'd all had a pretty hard day.

"So."

"So," he echoed in his low baritone. Now that Cloud wasn't right there, arguing over him seemed silly somehow. Not to mention that if the young man ever heard about it, he'd probably find some way to blame himself for it.

Tifa sighed. "This is stupid. I don't know what we're arguing about anyway."

Vincent shrugged, wrapping his red mantle about him defensively. He wasn't entirely certain either. The young woman before him was one of Cloud's childhood friends. Was it so wrong that she be concerned over the boy?

"I mean, you know he needs me. And now that that _evil_ man's been defeated once and for all, he can stop running and come home."

Oh, right. _That_. The word that was not just a river in…never mind. He sighed and resisted the urge to rub the bridge of his nose with his Claw. The resulting aesthetics would not be pretty. "Tifa…first of all, I think it's premature to dismiss the danger completely. And secondly…did you ever stop to consider that Cloud might have been running from _you_? From your constant nagging and fussing over him?"

"Well of course he was."

Success?

"He just didn't want to worry me when he had the Geostigma. But the Planet has taken care of all that, so everything is going to be just fine from now on. He's moved on from Aeris and he's ready for a fresh start – he wouldn't have come back to fight otherwise!"

Guess not. He really should have had that drink.

"Oh for the love of…it's not _Aeris_ he needs to move on from, Tifa" Vincent said tiredly. "It never was. Cloud loved Aeris, yes, but so did we all. And with his psyche partially shored up by his friend Zack's memories, it's hardly surprising that he was unusually close to her. So yes, some of his guilt probably stems from not being able to prevent her death. But Aeris isn't the one his entire existence revolved – and revolves - around."

Tifa's dark slender brows drew together in a frown. "Then who..."

Gods, the woman was dense. Vincent Valentine's blood-red eyes narrowed as his lips curled in an oddly familiar smirk. Well, the apple didn't fall all that far from the tree, he supposed, and it was vaguely reassuring to see one's favorite qualities replicated in one's offspring. Even if said offspring was a crazed ex-ShinRa General with delusions of godhood.

"Isn't it obvious, Tifa? There is only one person who could have roused him from his apathy."

She looked confused. He closed his eyes and prayed silently to gods he didn't believe in for patience with the less _intellectually_ endowed, even as his cynical side pointed out that Tifa certainly made up for that with...other attributes.

"Sephiroth."


	2. Turn Back Time

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Not making any money from this. Love the thought of Sephiroth and Cloud, they'd be so good for each other. Please leave me a review if you like the story.

Author's Note: Hmm. Those of you who have read my FMA fanfic _Full Circle_ know that my plot bunnies have a way of running away with me. This story is proving no different. For one thing, Vincent's playing a larger role in this than I initially anticipated, but as we'll have plenty of time to explore Cloud's inner angst in future chapters for reasons that shall be revealed in said future chapters, I thought it might be interesting to get some insight from my favourite tall, dark and mysterious character (Cloud's not tall and Sephiroth's not dark…in the physical sense of the word, of course. But I still love my guys.) Plus I have a weakness for Sardonic!Paternal!Vincent…. I may also tweak canon a little here and there for the purposes of the story. Please do let me know what you think!

* * *

_**Chapter 2: Turn Back Time**_

_I will always have a cross to wear  
But the bolt reminds me I was there  
So give me the strength,  
To face this test tonight_

_If only I could turn back time  
If only I had said what I still hide  
If only I could turn back time  
I would stay for the night. For the night..._

- "_Turn Back Time", Aqua_

"Sephiroth?"

"Sephiroth."

"Sephiroth."

"Sephiroth."

"…Sephiroth." A pause. "Sephiroth?"

"Sephi…this is ridiculous." Vincent glared across the counter at the other side of the embarrassingly monotonous argument and folded his arms mutinously. "I am not having a conversation consisting of one word. You are cheeping like a Sephiroth-obsessed chocobo."

Tifa sniffed at the ex-TURK hunched over at the corner of the bar. "You started it. Coming up with such a ludicrous idea." She turned away and began polishing glasses viciously, eyeing the hapless pieces of barware as though they were rows of miniature Jenova heads glimmering at her offensively. "I mean, really! Did you get hit on the head during the fight with Bahamut Sin or something? Cloud would have a fit if he knew you were suggesting that he felt anything but hatred for that evil man…"

"There's a thin line between love and hate," the pale-faced man pointed out neutrally. Now that they were back to full sentences, he was feeling much better. Actually, a little part of him was even enjoying it.

Not that he would ever admit to such a thing, of course. It would ruin his reputation for morose morbidity.

Tifa's dark eyes snapped with annoyance. "Are you suggesting Cloud loves – loved - him? Not that it matters now that the asshole is dead. Again."

Finally, some evidence of a functioning brain cell. "I was merely making an observation, Tifa," Vincent shrugged. "But now that you mention it, it's not implausible."

"Vincent – have you truly lost your mind? This is the monster that burned down Nibelheim and killed Cloud's mother! There is no way Cloud could forgive him for that!"

"Forgiveness and love are two separate issues, Tifa,"

She pursed her lips in a gesture that he recognized as a precursor to an utterly irrational retort and he groaned inwardly, struggling to find that calm center that kept his own demons at bay. Perhaps he should just wash his hands of this argument. What good would it do anyone anyway? Cloud was a big boy – he could deal with Tifa himself. But even as the thought flitted across his mind, he knew that he could not turn away from the situation, if for no other reason than that Cloud would be utterly incapable of standing up to Tifa. He had to make her see how her actions, well-intentioned or not, were hurting the man she claimed to love. Had to change the mind of this stubborn woman – although, he reflected with some bitterness, his history on that front wasn't exactly…confidence inducing.

"Tifa. Hear me out."

The woman nodded reluctantly – it was hard for anyone to say no to Vincent. Not when he would turn that mesmerizing wine-red gaze on you while speaking in that mellifluous baritone, thus making you feel like the worst kind of scum if you didn't go along with him. A corner of her mouth quirked wryly – he must have kept that specialty in his back pocket as a TURK; it would have come in quite useful on ShinRa business.

The ex-TURK sighed in relief. It appeared he hadn't lost his touch over the thirty or so years he'd been in that bloody coffin. "Let us assume the hypothetical and say Cloud did have some kind of…affection…for Sephiroth." He held up a warning finger, catching Tifa in the act of opening her mouth, and she bit her lip sulkily. "Now, if he did, and then he was forced by circumstance to kill him, it would explain the guilt he's been carrying around all these years. Do you not remember the mess his mind was in when we first met him and Aer-"

"That was from _Hojo_ and those ShinRa bastards messing around in his head," Tifa snapped, unable to hold herself back despite her resolution. "_You_ should know."

Oh, low blow. "Do _not_ presume to tell me what I should and should not know when it comes to Hojo!" growled Vincent, his ragged cape of crimson flaring about him as he stood abruptly, sending the stool he had been perched on skittering backwards into the nearest wall. His heightened senses were vaguely aware of Cid gaping at the two of them from the doorway, his cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth sodden and unlit, but he ignored his friend, the focus of his unnerving attention the sloe-eyed girl who was looking increasingly alarmed.

"Vincent, I just meant that you were also a victim of Hojo and should understand what he does to people-"

"Does it not ever get _tiring_, this having to tell other people what they _should_ do and think, my dear?" he asked coolly, steel wrapped in silk. "We've already established that I failed miserably on that front, since if I were the expert on his evil mind, I would never have let Lucretia return to him, I wouldn't be the walking deathless _Sin_ that I am, and I would have my _son_!"

Chaos roared within. He gritted his teeth and willed it to stay silent.

"Your son – Vincent, what are you talking about?" asked Tifa apprehensively as she eyed Vincent's twitching Claw.

Vincent shut his eyes briefly. "Sephiroth is very likely _my_ son. _My_ blood. _My_ kin. Not Hojo's."

"Well fuck me…." Cid was shaking his head in disbelief.

"Not now, Cid, I have a headache," Vincent said curtly. "Ask me again later."

Cid nearly swallowed his cigarette.

"Eww…" Yuffie poked her head in, looking green. "Did not need to hear that! Old people making out, gross." The perky ninja eyed the stunned faces before her and the hostile stance of the ex-TURK, and her eyes narrowed. "All right, what's going on?"

No one spoke up. Vincent wrapped his mantle around himself a little more securely and brooded. Tifa turned away and leaned heavily on the sink not looking anyone in the eye. Cid sighed and scratched his head. He removed the useless cigarette from his lips, and began to use it as a pointer, and Yuffie looked surprised – things had to be pretty bad if _Cid_ was attempting to be the voice of reason.

"Far as I can tell, this is about the fact that Teef won't stop mooning over the kid. Vincent thinks she's driving him away with the fussing – and sister, I gotta say that I agree with the guy. Teef then made some crack about Hojo and Vinnie…"

"…Vin-_cent_…" came the irritable correction.

"…Vincent – take that stick out of yer ass, why don't ya – which set him off on some kinda guilt trip about not saving Lucretia and his…_holy__ shit_!"

"What?" yelped Yuffie. "Spill! Spill!"

Cid's brain was only just catching up to Vincent's inadvertent revelation, and from the stunned look on Tifa's face as she turned back around to face them, so was hers. "Vincent…you…he…_son_? Oh gawd, my head."

"He? Who's, 'he?'" Yuffie begged in agony. This gossip was too juicy to be kept a secret! "Hojo's Vincent's son?"

"Gah!"

"Ick!"

"No!" came the vehement denunciation from three throats simultaneously, Vincent looking particularly sickened by the thought.

Yuffie frowned and took another stab at it. "Vincent's Hoj-"

"Sephiroth's my son. I think," Vincent hurriedly interrupted, deciding that in this case, _in_discretion was the better part of valor. He did_ not_ want to hear Yuffie finish _that_ sentence, and he suddenly felt a great sympathy for the ex-ShinRa General who had been forced to believe that his entire life. Contemplating the fact that you might share genes with Hojo was enough to send anyone over the edge.

"What!" That was Yuffie.

"What?" And that was Barrett, who had wandered in at an inopportune time. "What you sayin', fool? There is no way you be related to that asshole! It's a good thing he's dead. Again."

"Denial will not change the fact that I very likely _am_," Vincent said wryly. Oh what the hell. "And by the way, I don't think Sephiroth's quite dead yet. And I think Cloud might be in love with my son. Don't ask me how I feel about that right away; I'm still brooding on it."

There was a moment of silence.

And then chaos with a "c" broke out, much to Chaos's amusement.

* * *

Marlene sighed as she changed the warm washcloth on Cloud's forehead for a fresh cool one. The adults were arguing again, and not ten minutes after they'd left the children to watch over Cloud with strict instructions not to make a sound that might disturb the healing ex-mercenary too! She looked up to meet Denzel's eyes across the coverlet from hers, and he rolled his eyes before going back to watching Cloud's curiously still, pale face. Adults could be stupid like that. She just hoped they didn't wake Cloud up.

* * *

"Are you all done now? Anyone else have an opinion they'd like to share?" Vincent asked wryly. The other ex-AVALANCHE members glanced up sullenly from their seats scattered about the bar. He had been forced to knock quite a few heads together to get them to quiet down, and they were all just now remembering why Vincent Valentine had been legendary during his time with the TURKS. Even Barrett was nursing a swollen lip, courtesy of a casual backhand from the deceptively slender man. Damn, but he was fast, the big black man thought with grudging admiration. It was always the quiet ones you had to watch out for. 

As usual, Tifa was the first to jump in. "You didn't need to resort to violence-"

He glared at her, a look that clearly said _that was rhetorical_ and she shut up, aided by a timely nudge by Cid, who had wisely stayed out of the brawl, opting to watch it from the safety of a corner with the same expression of horrified fascination he reserved for traffic accidents and weeping women. "Thank you."

"Yeah, well…fuck, Vincent, you can't go droppin' bombshells on people like that and not expect _some_ kind of response," the grizzled pilot sighed. "Truthfully, I'd like some answers too. Let's start with the most obvious one."

"And that would be?"

"Why the hell would'ja think that bastard Sephiroth was yer kid?"

A casual shrug. "You can't say you haven't noticed the family resemblance. He has Lucretia's eyes, true, but apart from that…" he trailed off, looking at the disbelieving faces, then deliberately straightened, squared his shoulders and allowed a slow, cruel smirk to spread over his face, full lips curving almost sensuously. Vincent's face was a fraction narrower, true, but those cheekbones...that aristocratic nose, the curve of the brow...

Yuffie gulped. "Uh, guys? He's right." The normally irrepressible teenager was visibly stunned by the revelation, taking a half-step back. Vincent relaxed and gave her a wry half-smile – he'd always had a soft spot for the perky child - which she returned tentatively, but there was still a hint of fear in her dark almond eyes.

"I'd always suspected it, but when he possessed Kadaj this time, at the moment of his return, I felt…a connection to him. I think it had always been there, but I'd been too…raw…in too much pain…to notice before," and his red eyes darkened with memories best forgotten. "Maybe it's a parent's connection to a child, or maybe it had something to do with my Mako treatments as a TURK, I don't know. But I think that was why Hojo had me locked away once he realized that I was the father of Lucretia's child – he didn't want me in any way near Sephiroth because he knew he would need to keep the child isolated and alone in order to mould him without interference, make him as susceptible as possible to Jenova's influence. And if I had known the truth of his parentage…and even if not…"

"…nothin' on the Planet would have kept ya away from ya kid, huh?" Surprised faces swiveled around to stare at the surprising source of this insight. Barrett looked around ponderously. "What? I can understand that – it's the same way with Marlene! Even if _his_ kid _is_ a crazy-"

Vincent winced. "_Thank_ you, Barrett, for the…support."

"Whatever, fool. He's still crazy."

"Really," said the ex-TURK wryly. "What gave it away?" Ah, dark humor. The only thing that kept him going some days, when the guilt got too bad. Admittedly, it was a little hard to successfully commit suicide when one's healing abilities were tweaked to the maximum, but on the other hand, that meant you got to try out many, many different techniques. And without the pressure of aging, it wasn't as if time were an issue. Still, the humor route hurt a little less.

Tifa made an incoherent noise of frustration. "Okay, fine, we've established that Vincent believes Sephiroth is his son. What does this have to do with anything?"

"Teef, could ya be any less sympathetic?" Cid blustered. "So ya hate the guy – we all do – but Vincent's our friend. It sucks to lose family. _You_ should know," he pointed out, throwing her words back in her face.

Yuffie spoke up hesitantly, her eyes darting back and forth between Vincent's dark visage and Tifa's annoyed one. "Um…yeah, it does. But I gotta agree with Tifa. I mean…I'm sorry for all Vincent's been through in his life, but I don't see how it matters. Sephiroth's dead now, right? We can't change anything that's happened."

Tifa nodded, grateful for an ally. "And that means that Cloud being in love with him is a moot point anyway. If he were. Which he isn't."

"And you'd be the expert there," Vincent said contemptuously, hackles rising again. "Because he talks to you _all_ the time." The glare that earned him told him that the shot in the dark had told.

"Some of us are trying to get _on_ with our lives, Vincent," snapped the feisty brunette. "Just because you can't escape your lousy past, don't make the mistake of assuming that everyone else is the same way. Cloud is strong, and he knows we need him to be here, and he'd never-"

Chaos raged. Vincent clenched his jaw and concentrated on not letting leathery wings unfurl, on not casually ripping out the throat of the irritating woman standing before him. There was a shriek of metal, and he looked down in vague surprise to see that he had ripped a section of the bar rail out with his human hand. Everyone was staring at him, and he looked up, struggling to keep a bland expression on his face. "Oops."

"You're paying for that," Tifa said darkly.

And somehow that just did it, and he felt something in him snap. He shoved his face to within an inch of Tifa's, his eyes flaring up and glowing bloody crimson as he hissed in low, ragged tones, "I've been paying ever since that day I let Lucretia walk away from me. Just tack that onto my tab." The confusion in her eyes was fuel to the fire that raged inside. "Every single one of Sephiroth's crimes is a cross I bear each day of my life, knowing that I could have done something to stop them, to erase them…to prevent them from ever happening!"

"Now you're jus' talkin' crazy talk, fool!" Barrett grimaced. "What he done ain't none of your business, even if he is your kid."

"So his numerous _mortal_ sins of commission outweigh my single _venial_ sin of omission? Forgive me if I disagree and fail to see the distinction," Vincent smiled mirthlessly. "In my case, at least, I think the reverse is true. Had I been more forceful…had I been able to make Lucretia see reason…none of this would have happened. Aeris would not have died. Nibelheim would never have burned." He glanced over at Yuffie. "Your parents might even still be alive," and the teenager closed her eyes as if to block out the memories.

"And Sephiroth…he would have known me. Would have known the love of a parent. Lucretia might not have wanted him except as one of Hojo's pet projects…but I would have. I still do," and the bleakness in his voice made everyone look away, unable to bear the weight of his burning gaze. "Don't you understand? My sin of omission didn't just cost me thirty years of life, it cost me the woman I loved, it cost me my son, and the planet and numerous innocents paid the price for my inaction."

"Might he still have joined ShinRa? Yes – I was a TURK, after all. And he might have chosen to give in to Jenova still. But I could have made the choice that much harder. I could have made him understand that he wasn't as alone as he must have felt to choose her over everything else. I could have been there for him, and I know he would have chosen differently if I had. I know it."

"You don't _know_ that," Tifa's voice was tight and hard, but there were tears in her eyes. "You don't, Vincent. Don't do this to yourself."

"Oh, but I do," he said sadly, his voice so low that it hurt to hear it. "He's a Valentine, after all. A stubborn, proud Valentine who refuses to become a mere memory."

Cid slumped down the wall until he reached a seated position. "Sweet holy fucking Shiva. Teef, ya got anything strong behind that bar of yours?"

She looked at him wearily. "For this situation, I'm breaking out the good stuff."

* * *

The adults had stopped throwing things around. That was a good sign, wasn't it? Denzel sighed, and turned his attention back to the man lying on his bed. Cloud's breath was slowly deepening, indicating that his chest wounds had probably closed up completely, and that his body was shifting into the rhythms of normal rest instead of the dark depths of Mako-induced healing. Perhaps he should go down and tell the grown-ups? He started to stand stiffly from his cramped position by the bed, and Marlene shook her head. 

"They'll come get us when they're done, Denzel. Or at least, Tifa will. You know how she is about making sure we eat dinner on time. I think they have _iss-yues_ to work out."

He thought about that and sat back down again. She was right about the dinner part. "What are _iss-yues_?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I once heard Cait Sith say that about Vincent. I'll ask papa later."

He nodded. "Maybe Cloud will have woken up by then, too."

* * *

The whiskey burned like fire going down, and the speed with which it was disappearing was disconcerting. But then Vincent had Mako-enhanced tolerance, Cid was a regular drinker, Barrett had the mass, and Tifa was a bartender, so it was no surprise that the only person feeling a little woozy as a result of the alcohol was Yuffie. And she needed it too. What with Cloud…and Sephiroth…and Vincent…and…and…. 

"Yuffie, you should go upstairs and lie down for a bit," Tifa said, genuinely concerned as the little ninja swayed vigorously on her stool.

"Nope. Nooooo…I'm fine. Really! See? I can touch my nose," she said, narrowly missing her eye. "Oops."

Vincent sighed and steadied the girl. "No more drinks for you."

"Meanie," she pouted. "You would have been the biggest meanie as a parent."

"Possibly," Vincent replied dryly. "Although I can't exactly see Sephiroth being a rebellious sort of teenager. Brooding and angst-ridden, perhaps, given his lineage."

"Uh-huh," Yuffie wasn't listening. "Saaaaaaaaay…what was that other thing you said?"

"That Sephiroth wouldn't have been a rebellious…"

"No, no, earlier! The _other_ thing," she said irritably, gesticulating wildly at the blank faces of her friends. "_Earlier. Other._"

The ex-TURK looked as bewildered as his poker face would allow. "That he's a Valentine?"

"Yesssh!" crowed Yuffie. And then her face fell. "Noooo…Valentine…hearts…."

Cid shook his head tiredly and lit up a fresh cigarette. "Mebbe one of us should take her upstairs, let her sleep it off. She can keep Cloud company."

"Cloud! You said Cloud loves Sephiroth! Whaddya think about _that_?" And Yuffie promptly fell off her stool as Vincent let go of her.

"I told you not to ask me about it yet; I'm still new at being a father. Even if my son is…not exactly alive in the physical sense."

Tifa snorted. "That's what started this whole argument in the first place. You and that ridiculous idea."

Barrett knocked back his drink. "I gotta agree wi' Teef. Cloud? That kid ain't never even gotten _laid_ if you ask me."

"No one did ask you," growled Cid protectively. He liked the kid, even if he did spend way too much time wandering about like some lovesick woman in a decline…_shit_. Holy fucking Bahamut Sinning _shit_. "Oh fuck me now, I think Vinnie's right."

"It's Vin-_cent_, and I told you already: _later_."

Tifa groaned. "Not you too, Cid…."

"No, Teef, listen to me! When I was still a ShinRa man, before I realized what they were…when I was still one of their best pilots…we'd sometimes transport the SOLDIERs, y'know? And they'd talk, the way guys do. Anyway, there was this rumor, right before I left, something about a real runt of a new cadet who was aimin' to become a SOLDIER. Said he had the weirdest blonde hair – sound like someone we know? Anyway, some of the guys, they were saying as how this cadet was obsessed with the General of SOLDIER, kept hanging about trying to get a glimpse of him, and that they thought that maybe that was why he wanted to be in SOLDIER so badly. To be closer to Sephiroth." Cid shook his head in disbelief. "Man, I was feeling so sorry for that kid – I'd watched Sephiroth come up through the ranks, and he was all business, all ShinRa, younger than all the rest and yet never had time for anything else but his duties. No one ever got close to him but his inner circle – the company commanders - and even then, he was the General and they were his officers."

The grizzled pilot's eyes were wide and unseeing as he looked back into memories he hadn't brought up in years. "Truth is though…and I can't believe I'm sayin' this…the men loved him anyway, if only from a distance. I didn't get it until I flew him once. He came to the bridge once his men were billeted, y'know? He didn't have to, but he insisted, courtesy to the Captain and all that. Shit, he was high-rankin' enough that if he'd wanted to, he could have booted me from my stateroom and kept it to himself for the trip. But he wouldn't take it even when I tried to give it to him – said he appreciated it but that he'd sleep in the same sort of quarters as his men, because that way they'd know he was dealin' with the same things they were – so no excuses once they hit dirt. And no one ever gave him any, because no one wanted to disappoint him, that's the kind of leader he was. Last in the chow line, first on the field." He blinked, his blue eyes refocusing on his friend, and he gave Vincent a lopsided smile. "Actually, you would have been proud of him, Vinnie," and the ex-TURK didn't bother to correct his name for once as he struggled with an unaccustomed surge of emotion.

"I can't believe I'm hearin' this crap about the asshole who almost destroyed the Planet," boomed Barrett in disgust. "So you're really thinkin' that Cloud loved that…that…Sephiroth…because he was a good General before that snake-haired bitch got to him?"

"Ah, hell, I don't know. I just know what I saw, a long time ago. And I'm just sayin' that there were _rumors_, you lunkhead. But y'know what they say about smoke and fire."

"Who knows why we love who we love?" Vincent murmured softly.

Tifa was leaning heavily against the bar now, shaking her head stubbornly. "No. He couldn't…_love_…no."

The ex-TURK shrugged. "Perhaps it may be less than love. Obsession? Hero-worship? But whatever the emotion, it was enough to make Cloud carry around the guilt of being the cause of Sephiroth's demise. In his mind, he bears the sins of both omission and commission: he failed to be there for Sephiroth when he was struggling against Jenova's influence, and then he killed the man he cared for, in whatever fashion. And each and every time he is forced to face him, his guilt weighs ever more heavily upon him. He sees the deaths of Aeris –and his friend Zack – as being extensions of his original sins, you see. Every time Sephiroth is able to return, he believes it is his fault because he was unable to stop him that day in Nibelheim."

"…shit…" Cid sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time that day.

Vincent wrapped his mantle around him tightly, needing its warmth suddenly. "Indeed. And any way you look at it, it begins and ends in the ShinRa mansion In Nibelheim all those years ago. But as Yuffie said, it is too late." His eyes gleamed with dark emotion as he added bitterly, "It is all past…and we cannot turn back time."


	3. In The End

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Not making any money from this. Love the thought of Sephiroth and Cloud, they'd be so good for each other. Please leave me a review if you like the story.

Author's Note: Transition Chapter! From where we are to where we need to be to have Sephiroth and Cloud in the same frame. Finally!

* * *

_**Chapter 3: In The End**_

_I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter_

- "_In The End", Linkin Park_

Aeris passed a graceful hand over the shimmering green pool, the shadow of her hand passing over its surface like the reflection of a cloud. Cloud blinked as the image of his friends in 7th Heaven rippled and broke up, and when he looked again, the only thing staring back at him was a pair of stunned blue eyes. He drew his legs up, hugging his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them as he thought about what he had just heard and seen, and when he finally spoke, his voice was very low.

"Is it true?"

The girl smiled teasingly. "You're becoming as cryptic as Yuffie. '_Earlier. Other._'" She giggled. "Poor Vincent. Anyway, which part were you referring to?"

He shook his head, still mulling over all he had seen and heard. Tifa's anger, and hurt, and…his mind shied away from the details of her vehement denials. Cid's memories of Sephiroth as a good leader, a beloved General. The look of pain in Vincent's eyes when he had claimed Sephiroth as his son. "I don't even know myself."

"Well, then." Her eyes were as merry as ever, but her voice had modulated from its earlier girlish lilt. Low and serene, it was the voice of the Cetra who asked, "How can you expect an answer when you don't know the question?"

"Is that why I'm here?" Cloud asked hesitantly. "To figure out the question?" To the Lifestream, the Universe and Everything! a small voice in the back of his mind chirped. It was a voice he hadn't heard in a while, and though it was a little creaky from disuse, the underlying mischievous attitude was still the same. He felt a little more present, a little more _there_, a little less like the pallid ghost who had floated through the past two years.

It felt good.

Zack scoffed. "You get hit on the head recently, Spikey? You're here 'cause you asked to be, remember? Otherwise you'd already be back down there waking up."

Cloud grinned sheepishly, not noticing the relieved looks his friends were giving him. "Yeah. Right. Sorry."

"Forget it, kid. And would you _please_ lay off with the guilt thing already?" The SOLDIER rolled his eyes in melodramatic fashion. "You do realize this ridiculous ability to lay all the sins of the world at your feet was part of what flunked you out of SOLDIER, right?"

The blonde sighed. "Yeah."

Aeris flicked the tip of Zack's nose as he lay with his head in her lap. "Stop it, you're not helping. And you're just procrastinating by picking on old wounds. Besides, _he_ was perfectly capable of wracking bouts of guilt, too. It's not an insurmountable obstacle."

Cloud wished they would lay off with the "_he_" business. What, did whoever it was they were discussing not have a name?

"Yeah, yeah," Zack caught her hand gently and kissed it, but his lady would not be put off and her glare at her errant knight was unwavering, though the corner of her mouth curled upwards a fraction. He sighed, sounding a good deal like Cloud had moments earlier. "Yeah, you're right. Okay. But I don't know why you Cetra couldn't talk to Cloud yourself."

"But you're so good at explaining the details of a mission…and it involves two people you care about…" Aeris wheedled.

"…sure, sure…"

She pouted. "It was felt it might come better from a friend he trusts."

"Then you _seriously_ picked the wrong guy," Cloud murmured _sotto voce_, vaguely resenting the fact that the pair were discussing something to do with him as if he weren't there. He flashed the barest hint of a grin at Zack, just enough to let him know he meant nothing malicious by it. "The biggest practical joker in SOLDIER was the best the Cetra could do for…whatever issue it is you're dancing around?"

"Hey, I resent that!" Zack sat up in a mock huff. "I always do my duty. But I reserve the right to bitch out my superior officer if I disagree with the order. _Seph_ never gave an order he wouldn't fol-" he cut himself off sharply and looked guiltily over at Cloud. The blonde raised his head and returned the look, expressionless. For a moment no one spoke, then Zack ran a hand wearily through his hair. "All right, all right, I'll be the messenger – but you owe me big," and he glared half-heartedly at his girlfriend, who smiled luminously and patted his hand.

"I'll be right here if the two of you need me. Play nice, boys," and Aeris obligingly stood, dusted herself off lightly and simply disappeared. A warm breeze ruffled the heads of the two men and sent a ripple running over the endless field of flowers, their heady scent an almost tangible golden haze lingering on the horizon. Cloud decided that whatever news it was that Zack had to tell him, it could just as well be received from a supine position and reclined back amongst the glossy green leaves and shutting his eyes against the glare as he took a deep breath and relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever. There was a rustle next to him, and he cracked an eye open long enough to see Zack imitating him, folding his arms behind his head and sucking on his lower lip unconsciously. Cloud knew that look. It was the one Zack wore whenever he needed to break some news to someone but wasn't entirely certain how they would react.

"Just tell me already."

"Eh?"

Cloud rolled onto his side to face his friend, propping his head up on his hand. "Come on, Zack, you never could hide anything from me. Tell me already, and we'll deal with it. It can't be anything worse than what I've been through the last few years."

His dark-haired friend smiled wryly. "Geez, kid, when did'ja grow up? Sorry I wasn't around to see it. Seriously. And don't you latch on to that for another guilt trip or so help me, I will kick your scrawny ass from here to Costa del Sol."

Cloud snorted. "I'd like to see you try. I'm not sixteen anymore, y'know." His face darkened for a moment, then brightened unexpectedly. "Hey, I'm twenty-three now, and technically you're still twenty-three! We're the same age!" The look of consternation on Zack's face was priceless, and the blonde couldn't help but laugh. "Serves you right for being so good that you were a SOLDIER First Class at eighteen. You know what this means? No more calling me kid or you're getting the same thing right back at ya!"

Zack groaned. "Talk about a swollen head, that's the first time I've heard of _aging_ being passed off as a _good_ thing. Ifrit, if you're insufferable now, what will you be like when I'm younger than you?"

The blonde's chuckles abruptly ceased, his glowing blue eyes narrowing. "What?"

"Promise you'll hear me out before you go running off half-cocked."

Two Mako-blue gazes clashed, one mutinous and one pleading. Cloud was the first to look away – damn Zack and his hang-dog expressions! – and grudgingly concede. "Fine, I'm listening." Hell, he'd given Rufus Shinra a chance to talk, so he supposed Zack deserved just as much of a opportunity.

His friend rubbed the back of his neck wearily. "Thank you. So, about that thing the Cetra want me to ask you. It's…_really_ complicated. And, uh…it involves Sephiroth. A lot."

* * *

Blue eyes fluttered open blearily and studied the dark beams above him. They ran in a definite pattern, arching high up into shadowy depths, and seemed familiar. He'd been here before, many times, his memories told him. The air held that not unpleasant cooled sweat feel common to the interiors of old stone buildings, and there weren't that many of them around Midgar, the city being mainly soaring glass and cold metal, so…perhaps a church? Yes. A church.

Aeris's church. Where she would sell flowers.

Where she had sold flowers. Where she did sell flowers? He couldn't quite seem to figure out what tense to use. And while he wasn't about to proclaim himself a genius, he was pretty damn sure he knew the difference between future, past and present. So what was wrong with him? Had he taken a blow to the head? He moved cautiously, wiggled his fingers. Yep, everything seemed to be there and in working order, although there was a nagging pain between his eyes that he hoped would pass soon. The hard wood of the pew pressed painfully against the scabbard on his back, and he rolled lightly to one side and swung his feet to the floor, reaching around to feel for his sword.

It wasn't there. Shit. And though he could hear Tifa berating him for his language, he figured this was one time that swearing was entirely warranted. He'd carried a sword every day for years now, and he didn't like the panic that was rising in his chest as he tried desperately to think of what he could have done with…

It all came rushing back in an instant, and he squeezed his eyes shut again, feeling dizzy. For a moment he thought he might throw up, the dry heaves leaving him nauseated, the acrid taste of bile in his mouth. Oh, right. Zack had told him that might happen. And also that he wouldn't be able to bring his sword back with him. Not to mention his bike, and a rueful shadow passed over his face as he thought mournfully about Fenrir. And the throbbing ache in his shoulder was reminding him of what else Zack had told him. Something about not having Mako enhanced abilities anymore as a result of his…displacement here. He frowned and hoped that the Cetra had done a decent job of healing his wounds before sending him off on this jaunt – he felt as weak as a newly hatched chocobo chick. A nagging voice in the back of his mind also fretted about something else Zack had told him, something important he needed to know, something else he was going to be missing here, but he couldn't quite remember what. Oh well, he thought philosophically, it'll come to me when I'm not thinking about it.

And then he heard a cry for help, and all thought fled as his fighting instincts kicked in.

* * *

"What do you know about the Lifestream, Cloud?"

"It's the source of all life on the Planet," Cloud replied softly, puzzled. "It transcends everything…spans the border between Life and Death…"

"…precisely," Zack said with some relief. "Here's where it gets complicated…it spans the borders between worlds, too."

Cloud raised a pale brow at his friend. "There's only one world, Zack. Gaia."

"Well, that's the thing, they're all Gaia."

The other brow went up, and it was obvious that Cloud was trying to figure out if the Lifestream accepted lunatics. From the resigned look on the young man's face, he had come to the conclusion that since the Lifestream had taken three homicidal, mother-obsessed silver-haired clones, it could probably make room for a slightly deranged SOLDIER. "Uh-huh. Zack, maybe we should get Aeris back here…"

"No, really. Shit, I can't believe Aeris suckered me into this." Zack sighed and tried again. "Look…you know how sometimes you look back on life, and you think how easily things could have gone some other way? If you'd…I don't know…turned left instead of right. If you'd run for an elevator instead of waiting for the next one. If you'd told someone the truth instead of keeping it all in…if…"

"…if you'd saved someone instead of letting them die? Or turned aside your blade instead of killing them?" Cloud said very softly, his voice so low it hurt to hear it.

Zack paused. "Yeah. Yeah, something like that. See, Cloud," and the blonde noted absently the fact that his friend had used his name for the first time since their reunion, speaking to him not as Cadet Strife, or Spikey, or the kid, but as an equal and a friend, "each and every time we make a choice, there are paths that split off from it. And again, and again. And each and every path is one version of the world. So somewhere out there, there's a version where you and I never met because you never decided to join SOLDIER and never came to Midgar. And another where we never met because I…died. Before we met. And a version where Lord Godo didn't die but yielded honorably to a superior opponent. And even a version where Hojo never got his hands on Valentine – man, I cannot _believe_ you hooked up with him, he was a _legend_, even in my day when he hadn't been seen for a quarter of a century…"

"And is there a version of the world where Meteor never happened, Zack?" Cloud asked, blue eyes staring off into the distance, unseeing. "A version of the world where Jenova never-"

"That's the thing," his friend frowned, dragging his attention back to the topic at hand. "See, even though there are all these worlds, the weird thing is, certain events always happen. It's like they're…nexus points or something. Commonalities to each world. They tend to follow certain people. And according to the Cetra, in each and every world, Seph…he…" Zack pinched the bridge of his nose. "Gods, this really sucks."

Cloud didn't say anything. There wasn't anything to say.

"He wasn't always crazy, y'know," Zack went on at last, more to himself than to Cloud, his tone almost pleading, almost defensive. "He was a _good_ leader. A good _man_. He was my _friend_…as much as he would let himself be. Or as much as those ShinRa bastards would let him be. He was just…in so much pain. And so lonely. You know this – you remember, don't you?" He hesitated, then added, "You've thought about nothing else for the past two years."

The blonde was silent, his fingers tightening absently into the mat of green stems beneath them as he considered the revelation that his friend had been watching him and knowing his mind from the Lifestream all this while. Zack waited calmly, his posture almost too relaxed in the telltale manner of the professional soldier, effectively masking his concern – Cloud had always been a private person, and he might not react in the best way to knowing that, all joking aside, his every move and thought of the past two years had been painstakingly scrutinized by the Lifestream. At least the kid wasn't having a panic attack yet or anything.

His patience was finally rewarded when Cloud let out a small sigh, the barest hint of a whisper. "Yeah. I remember." His brow wrinkled up and he scrunched his nose up slightly, making him look ridiculously young and vulnerable. "I remember seeing him for the first time, when he turned up to greet the new cadets. We were a motley crew, wet-behind-the-ears, practically lower than dirt in the ShinRa hierarchy - we'd been laughed at by the clerks who signed us up!"

Zack couldn't help it – he had to chuckle. "Tell me about it. Did I ever tell you that SOLDIERs who didn't have anything better to do would wander over to watch the new recruits check-in for the entertainment value?"

Cloud glared half-heartedly. "Yes, you did kindly inform me of that once, after laughing yourself hysterical over the way my hair looked coming out of the showers. I think it was your screwed up way of trying to explain that it wasn't anything personal."

"Um. Right. Sorry. But hey, look what a beautiful friendship it led to!" Zack bit his lip so as not to ruin the save with a snigger. The kid really did have the weirdest hair, and that was saying something coming from a man whose own mother had called him a spinifex bush on many an occasion.

"Uh-huh. _Right_." It was dry, but quietly amused, and Zack closed his eyes briefly as he remembered another man with a similarly wry hidden sense of humor that rarely appeared in public and had to be coaxed out in private, but was highly enjoyable when it was. Cloud was either half-psychic or Zack was as bad as ever at preventing his thoughts from being writ large across his face, because some of the animation left the blonde's face and he dropped his gaze. "Anyway, he turned up, surprised the hell out of us, although looking back now, the non-comms seemed to expect it, so I guess it wasn't out of the ordinary for the General to take an interest in the new recruits. And he was so…so…." His hands waved vaguely about in the air, sketching what might have been broad shoulders and a general impression of height, or the reaction of a dismayed chef who had just discovered a collapsed soufflé in the oven.

"…tall?" Zack hazarded, plumping for the former. Cloud wasn't exactly vertically blessed, so it seemed like a reasonable sort of assumption to make.

Cloud rolled his eyes. "That too. But he just seemed so…awe-inspiring. And powerful. And controlled. And yet...he was kind. Didn't dismiss us out of hand, actually seemed to be genuinely interested in reassuring us, stiffening us up, you know? But yet distant. So alone."

"He had to be," and now the mirth had gone out of the SOLDIER's voice. Zack shifted a little, trying to get comfortable. "His upbringing didn't allow for anything else. His…_programming_, you might say. One of the biggest reasons that Hojo needed Valentine out of the way. I mean, I wouldn't want to get between Valentine and something he thought was his."

"So that part is true then," Cloud said flatly. "Vincent is his father."

"Yeah. Valentine's sharp; good instincts. Funny though, from his rep, you'd never realize the man had a paternal bone in his body. Guess falling in love does that to ya – changes a man. You thought Tseng was bad, but he is – or was – a mere shadow of what Valentine was rumored to be."

"What a relief," muttered the blonde.

Zack shrugged. "Yeah, I guess thinking that the man I loved was in anyway biologically related to Hojo would put me off my feed too," and watched innocently as Cloud abruptly spluttered and flushed the same shade of pink as Aeris's favored dress. "Oh come off it, kid, you think you can hide this stuff from ol' Zack? Okay, so Zack here don't know if it's _real_ love, or just infatuation, some kind of hero-worship taken to extremes"

"Third person again, Zack…" Cloud warned, and the steel in his voice was definitely something new, Zack thought, a newly discovered edge revealed as the trials of the young blonde's life chipped away at the flint of his character, the chalky cortex flaking off to reveal the sharp blade beneath. His friend was no longer the lost and frightened boy he remembered from his physical memories, but had grown and…hardened? No, that wasn't quite the word – while Cloud had learnt to defend himself and those he cared about, Zack was pretty certain that his young friend's heart was as gentle and vulnerable as ever.

You couldn't guilt trip yourself that hard unless you actually cared, after all. Even if the kid was in denial.

Tempered, perhaps? Yes. That was it. Cloud had been tested and tempered in the forge of Nibelheim and Meteor and Kadaj's Reunion…and had emerged stronger. Weary, battered…but not broken. That pale, ghostly runt with the too-large eyes that were impossibly blue even before exposure to Mako…his best friend had grown up and become more than even Zack could have imagined, and the SOLDIER felt an uncharacteristic prickling behind his eyelids as he finally allowed himself to believe, really believe, that Aeris and the Cetra were right, and that this would work, and two people he cared about very much would save each other and Gaia.

If they didn't kill each other first, that was. Oh well, time enough to worry about that later. All the time in all the worlds, in a way.

"Okay, okay, no more teasing. But seriously, Cloud, this is important. Sephiroth is unique in that his fate seems integrated into the fabric of the universe; his very body a nexus for Jenova _and_ for the Lifestream. While Jenova's cells were part of what enabled him to withstand the Mako, the rest of it was just…him. His uncanny ability to adapt to and integrate these poisons into his being. And because of that, the war for dominance took place, in a sense, on the battlefield of his blood and mind and body and heart. At least, that's what the Cetra finally figured out after realizing that the turning points of his life are common to all worlds that exist. Nibelheim. Meteor." He glanced sidelong at his friend. "What you just went through. And will go through. Time flows at different rates in the different worlds too, so the Lifestream already knows what is to come. In another world, another time, you've faced him again. And again. And again. And you will here too." A pause. "I'm sorry, kid. But even the Lifestream can't make things _un_-happen-"

"-I know, Zack. I think…I've always known. He's not dead yet…he isn't part of the Lifestream yet, is he?"

"_I will never be a memory."_

You never could be, thought Cloud numbly as he shivered. And Shiva forgive me, but I don't want you to be. And yet, what the hell had all this been for if in the end, it didn't even matter? If nothing mattered, because he would simply have to get up and fight the same battle over and over and over…was this the punishment for his sins then? To continually push forward and yet always find that the other was always a step ahead, to engage in an eternal struggle with him…with the one man his heart refused to deny, even when it was forced to secret its feelings away from a world that did not understand.

Zack pursed his lips, an odd expression coming over his face. "No. No, he's not. But there's a way to fix that, Cloud. To fix all of it. We can't change the course of events that have already played out. But the Cetra think that maybe…just maybe…we can stop them from ever happening in the first place. Stop Sephiroth before he starts the chain of irrevocable events."

"I won't kill anyone who hasn't done anything that needs killing over, Zack." Cloud's eyes narrowed, and it was obvious where the blonde thought he was going with this. "Find someone else to carry out your preemptive assassinations. I'll fight Sephiroth for you if he threatens the Planet, but don't ask me to kill an innocent man."

The SOLDIER held up his hands placatingly. "Not asking you to, kid. You're a SOLDIER in your heart, and that kind of dirty work doesn't become us – that's stuff left to the Turks. And even the Lifestream can't really turn back time. No, the Cetra have something else in mind."

* * *

Cloud was becoming increasingly annoyed with the Cetra. One in particular, who wore a pink dress and had a deceptively sweet smile capable of coercing a person into doing whatever she wanted. Because while he'd agreed to be sent here, he did _not_ remember signing up for this.

He ducked a wild swing and flipped his attacker on his back, simultaneously relieving him of the lead pipe he was wielding, wincing as barely healed flesh twinged. Although his second trip in what Zack had irritatingly insisted on calling "the rollercoaster ride of the Lifestream" had been much quieter in his mind, it hadn't exactly been a cakewalk. He was a little hazy on the details of how the Cetra had translocated him between worlds, but it had not been the smoothest of rides, and unfortunately, drew on the Mako in his body to fuel the journey. As such, while he was still in good physical shape, he couldn't count on enhanced healing abilities or strength. Both of which he could use right about now. He'd already taken a knife to the ribs, and while it had skated along the edge of his ribcage rather than puncturing a lung, the wound still hurt like hell.

He was sure he was forgetting a few other details that Zack had said were important, but…priorities. A quick tuck and roll, and he was able to retrieve a fallen gun and wing a couple of assailants before tossing aside the empty weapon and jabbing the end of the lead pipe he was still holding into the gut of a third. The men attacking him were louts, he decided, common street punks, nominally anti-ShinRa rebels, but really just thugs out to inflict pain and fear on the vulnerable. In this case, a pretty flower girl and the little street children under her protection. Fortunately, Cloud had been right there to help even the odds. Unfortunately, while Cloud had the advantage of skill, they had the power of numbers.

Aeris pressed back against the church steps, a few small guttersnipes gathered about her skirts, her staff in her hands as she stood before them in a protective stance. He backed up towards her, eyes flickering over the ugly mob encircling them, and glanced over at her accusingly, his message clear: you ship me across worlds and you can't find a less public place to ease me into it?

The Cetra shrugged. "This was the right place, Cloud. You'll see why soon enough." It was odd to see Aeris's pellucid gaze in this face, still round and rosy with the flush of first youth, instead of the slightly older, but no less beautiful Aeris of his memories. And then she smiled faintly, and in that instant he saw Aeris as she was and always would be to eyes that could see, eternal and Cetra, and the thought distracted him so much that he almost didn't hear her next words, "I'm really sorry though. This is going to hurt."

He began to open his mouth to ask her what she was referring to, and then he felt something hit his head with blunt force and he crumpled, dazed. Someone had thrown something, and whether by luck or skill, had managed to bean Cloud soundly in the temple. Aeris fell to her knees and pulled him into her lap protectively. "Leave him alone! Leave us alone!" she snarled. "Security forces will be here any moment, they'll stop you."

The men laughed and pressed closer. And then Aeris's prediction was proven right as an oddly familiar baritone cracked out sharply. "What's going on here?"

"None o' your business, so keep yer nose out of it!" spat a voice from the crowd.

"You are in error," came the calm reply. "Anything that happens in Midgar is ShinRa business. And I am ShinRa here. Cease your actions or I will be forced to stop you by force."

Cloud's head swam. He knew that voice, didn't he? Had heard its velvet tones twisted into madness but hours – days? – ago. He struggled to stand, but a new pair of arms stopped him, their strength evident even thought one arm appeared to be heavily bandaged. "Hey buddy, you're hurt. Stay still. You're safe now. The General will handle this."

Another familiar voice. He'd been speaking to that voice just minutes ago in the Lifestream. Zack?

There were sounds of fighting, cries of fear, and of men running fast. And a name spoken in fear, in hate, in relief, in awe from a ragged chorus of throats. "Sephiroth!"

Spots swam before Cloud's blurred vision. The blow to the head must have been worse than he had thought. The side of his face felt damp against Aeris's skirts. Blood. Bleeding. Not good. Funny how you never appreciated Hojo's Mako treatments until you got hit in the head with…whatever he had been hit with. Something hard, anyway.

Footsteps. Booted ones. They came over and stopped by him, and the deep, dark voice spoke again from a great height. "How is he?"

"Pretty bad. Good thing we came along in time. See, aren't you glad I made you come with me?"

"Zachary, when I agreed to accompany you to this…unsavory…part of town, it was because you were wounded in our last battle and I was concerned for your safety. Not because I wished to get involved in breaking up street brawls." The voice was weary, a startling contrast to the commanding tones of a few minutes ago. "I have seen quite enough bloodshed for the week, thank you."

A higher voice. "Zack, you have to help him. He was trying to save the children. Please! You have to take him back to your base with you, the infirmary there is better than anything in this Sector."

"Aeris, it ain't that simple. We don't know who he is, we can't just bring him in-"

"Miss Gainsborough, it is simply not possible-"

"No, you don't understand! He saved me! Zack…."

Cloud thought this might be as good a time as any to try and enter the conversation, but just trying to sit up made him want to vomit. The slight movement drew the attention of the three arguing parties, however – and one in particular, much to Cloud's regret as he gritted his teeth against the nausea induced by the motion as his arm was seized in an ungentle manner. The next words he heard, however, made him forget his physical discomfort as he stared into the face that haunted his memories.

"Strife?" The silver-haired ShinRa General was visibly shaken, his grip almost painful around the blonde's upper arm. "How…is that really you?"

How the hell does he know who I am if we haven't met before in this world, Cloud wondered, panicked. Had the Cetra screwed something up in a major way? And then another oddity about the situation occurred to him: why was Sephiroth calling him by his patronymic instead of his name? He shook his head confusedly, tearing his eyes from that intent, feline gaze to drift over the man's shoulder, and a fresh surge of adrenaline abruptly flooded his veins. It seemed one of the men Cloud had put down earlier was coming around and was intent on demonstrating a death wish, given that he had drawn a gun in his shaking hand. The General's preternatural senses seemed to pick something up, because he began to turn, but Cloud was already in motion, bringing up his other arm to shove Sephiroth down and back behind him. Caught off-guard, the silver-haired man stumbled forward as Cloud flung himself around, putting himself between the General and the would-be killer. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Zack beginning to move, but he knew his friend would be too late even as he squeezed his eyes shut, anticipating what was to come. Would Zack still be his friend here, he wondered distractedly – would Zack be sad if he were the one to die first this time around? But Zack wouldn't know him either yet, would he?

Thoughts, jumbling inside his head.

The gun went off.

Aeris cried out, though he couldn't quite make out her words.

The only coherent thought that passed through Cloud's mind as he fell was that being shot twice in the same day in the same place really did suck. And no Mako healing this time around, too. But instead, there was a strong pair of arms that caught him with surprising gentleness on the way down, and a stunned pair of glowing green eyes set in a pale face, and right before the darkness overtook his senses, he heard a husky voice call out urgently.

"Strife!"


	4. Awake

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Not making any money from this. Love the thought of Sephiroth and Cloud, they'd be so good for each other. Please leave me a review if you like the story.

* * *

_**Chapter 4: Awake**_

_I would stay awake just to hear you breathing  
Watch you smile while you are sleeping  
While you're far away and dreaming  
I would spend my life in this sweet surrender  
I would stay lost in this moment forever  
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure_

_- "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing", Aerosmith_

The moonlight was a pale gauzy sheet fluttering across the window-sill, across the floor and onto the bed where the pale blonde lay unconscious, a waxen statue in a semblance of death save for the steady rise and fall of his chest. Tifa paused in the doorway, unable to look away from the sight, before slowly making her way to her friend's side and kneeling down to brush his bangs back from his forehead. Cid and Vincent were spending the night on the ship, Barrett was bunking down with the kids so as to spend time with his daughter, Yuffie was currently sleeping off the effects of the alcohol in Tifa's bed, and the latter was making the rounds before turning in herself. That course of action had naturally led her to the sickbed of the man who had just saved the planet. Again. But at what cost?

"Oh Cloud. Always the hero," Tifa whispered softly, studying the heart-shaped face that seemed almost too delicate for the strength of spirit it shielded. Cloud was curiously immobile, the stillness a stark reminder that this was not the sleep of the weary, but of the wounded. "But you've done it now. It's safe again – you found that strength within to face Sephiroth. Why won't you wake up and enjoy the world you've helped to create? Is it really so awful?"

Silence.

"We all miss you, you know." Her legs folded under her unconsciously as she sank down by the headboard, rumpling the rug by the bed. "Life is for the living, not the dead. Your mother used to say that whenever people asked her what it was like to go on without your father, remember? When we were children…you were always quiet, even then. That's why when we met again, and you seemed to be a brash ex-SOLDIER, I thought you'd achieved all you'd set out to do when you left Nibelheim. I thought maybe you were finally over…whatever issues it was you were struggling with and we had a chance." She tilted her head and reached up slowly to lace her fingers into his lax grip, noting absently the calluses from a sword grip that roughened his palm. A gentle, hopeful squeeze.

Nothing.

"And then we fought him. And I helped you find yourself again. And then you retreated back into that quiet shell that I helped you rebuild." Tifa's voice was surprisingly even, although she couldn't quite keep the thread of hurt from quivering. "Two years, Cloud. You hid yourself away from your friends, the people who cared about you – but why am I surprised?" She laughed softly, blinking back tears that pride would not let fall. "That was what the old Cloud would have done. At first I thought it was because you didn't care…but then I realized, maybe…maybe it was because you cared too much and it was just easier to hide from the hurt. The way you did as a child. I just never went far enough trying to figure out what exactly it was you cared about. Or who."

Stillness.

"You know me, I run headlong into fights. That's Tifa Lockheart's style. I guess where I messed up was when I tried to make you do the same. I fight on instinct – it's how I deal with the world. You fight only when you have something to protect, and even then you hurt for it. I'm sorry if I was a part of that hurt before by not understanding that." She ran a thumb gently over his unresisting hand. "Yeah, never thought you'd hear that from me, did you? Guess some part of what Vincent said made it through my thick skull. I just have a hard time with the thought that you could hurt for a man who caused you…us…everyone…so much pain. But then again, look at me. I'm sitting here holding your hand, hurting for a man who doesn't love me back. And worse still…cares for me. Just not the way I want you to. So I guess when you look at it that way, we're actually the same. And I'm no hypocrite. Gods, Vincent was right. Who knows why we love who we love?"

Was that a faint frown on his face? She sat up a little straighter, but as minutes went by without any other movement, she decided she must have imagined it. Cloud's hand was still limp in hers, and she reached up and placed it gently by his side.

"Please wake up, Cloud. I won't say I don't wish you would love me back, but I swear I'll understand. Or at least, I'll try harder to. And I'll even try to listen, and you know how hard that can be for me!" Her dark eyes glistened even as she forced a wry smile onto her face, though there were no eyes to see her valiant effort. "I just…I just want to be around you, that's all. You're my friend. I'll treasure whatever time I can get with you. I'll watch you sleep if that's all I can have, but if you can hear me…wake up. Please. The planet's safe again…there's a future, however imperfect it may be. Wake up."

The only answer was the soft rustle of the curtains shimmering in the moonlight.

* * *

Gods above, his head hurt so badly, his shoulder felt like it had been shattered into a million pieces – and quite possibly had been - and his stomach felt as though it were trying to turn itself inside out. The darkness was warm and welcoming, and he reached for it gratefully, wanting to rub his face in its velvet nap and let it take the pain away, but something – someone? – wouldn't let him go. He gritted his teeth against the wave of nausea that washed over him and buried his head against the warmth by his side, wanting to let go and drift away into oblivion. 

"Strife, you must stay awake – you have sustained a head injury. Keep still. Can you look at me?"

"Medics are on the way. They said specifically not to use a Cure Materia on him; he's too weak for that right now, not that we have one on us anyways."

"I am well aware of that, Zachary. As I recall, I was the one who taught you to use it," came the sharp retort. "Strife, stay with me, damn it!"

"Calm down, Seph, I was just sayin'. How do you know the kid anyways?"

There was a palpable hesitation, an uncharacteristic indecision in the deep voice, a hint of...obsfucation? "He was…he was one of the SOLDIERs who guarded the laboratory when I was a child."

An indeterminate sound. "Seph, that's not possible. Look at him! He's gotta be all of what, twenty-two? If he were the same man, he'd have'ta be in his forties by now."

"I am well aware of that. Nonetheless, he is the spitting image of the man I knew. And he did seem to respond to his name immediately prior to becoming temporarily unconscious."

"But-"

"Zack, keep it down!" Aeris hissed. "The noise probably isn't helping!"

"But-"

"Zachary, be _silent_. That is an order."

"Fine, fine…."

Cloud agreed silently with the two long-haired members of the trio as he attempted to obey the command not to pass out again. The fading daylight still seemed too harsh for his eyes, and he turned instinctively away from it, his breath rattling in his chest as he struggled for air, breathing in the scent of supple leather and oil and musk and…oh dear. He felt his body summon up the reserves to blush faintly as he realized that he was currently being cradled against Sephiroth as the taller man attempted to stave off the chill of shock with his own body heat. And that he was nuzzling the man's arm, and that the shimmering warm blanket he felt brushing his bare arm was a curtain of silken platinum strands. Despite the pain he was in, he felt oddly comforted, and safe, and in a strange moment of lucidity, wondered if the blow to his head had suppressed that part of his consciousness that screamed that lying in the arms of someone who had been attempting to kill you not a day earlier was generally a _bad_ thing, because right now all he wanted to do was stay lost in this moment forever, acutely aware of the feel and smell of the man, every bit as intoxicating as he had imagined.

"Strife? Can you hear me?" The urgency in the husky voice dragged him out of the peaceful darkness he had been slipping into, and he grimaced, curling in on himself as the wound in his shoulder decided to make itself known again. He swallowed and tried to speak. His eyes widened in alarm when no sound came forth despite his best efforts.

Aeris's face swam into view as she put a gentle hand on his forehead. "Shh, calm down. It may only be a temporary loss," and despite the fog in his head, Cloud did not miss the meaningful look sliding his way. "Here, take my hand," and her cool fingers slipped into his grasp. At least she had the presence of mind to pick the good arm. "Squeeze once for yes and twice for no. Do you understand?"

He squeezed once.

"Can you speak at all?"

Another attempt, and then two squeezes, his panic evident in the desperate strength of his grip. He thought he saw a satisfied look flit across her face for an instant, but it was gone before he could be certain.

"Are you in pain?"

He rolled his eyes as best he could, wincing and blinking as stars exploded in his vision. One squeeze.

"Zachary, where are those medics?"

"They said ETA was ten minutes, sir," the dark-haired man responded reflexively to the tone in his superior's voice.

"Do you know what your name is?"

He squeezed once.

"He says he doesn't know it. Amnesia, possibly," Aeris informed the two men, blithely ignoring the bone-crushing repeated squeezes a very confused Cloud was delivering. "Shush, calm down…Zack and the General are going to take care of you at their base. Everything's going to be fine." Keen grey eyes looked down intently into Cloud's face. "Trust me. The General will make sure you're taken care off, won't you, sir?" and the childishly pleading note in Aeris's voice seemed curiously at odds with the knowing light in her eyes that only Cloud saw.

"Of course, Miss Gainsborough." Sephiroth's voice was calm and even, the mere sound of it so reassuring that he could have been reading off a dinner menu with likely the same effect, Cloud thought dazedly. The voice of a leader. "It would appear I owe him my life now after all."

"Medics are here," Zack interjected, sounding relieved. "C'mon babe, stand aside and let 'em work."

Cloud sensed a flurry of activity around him, and gentle but impersonal hands lifting him up and onto a stretcher. A pad of some kind was slapped against his shoulder as unfamiliar faces swarmed into view, their mouths moving but their voices indistinct, blurring into one another. He shivered convulsively, his body instinctively reaching out towards the source of warmth that had slipped away, his hand grasping on empty air as he opened his mouth, remembering only belatedly that he seemed to be unable to say very much of anything. Make that anything at all. The panic that had been held at bay swept back in and dark spots swam before his eyes, the lead weight of his eyelids dragging them shut despite the cries in his ears. It would be so easy to let go here. But he'd made a choice….

* * *

The field around the two men shimmered for a moment, hazing over in shades of milky white, and then regained its coherence. Cloud glanced around sharply. "What was that?" 

"That's your friend, that one from Nibelheim. Tifa. She's trying to get ya to wake up, kid. You've got some loyal friends back there, y'know." Zack's gaze was penetrating. "Your body's healing up just fine, and there's no reason for you to remain here much longer. Guess you'll have'ta make your choice pretty soon."

"Choice?"

"Sure. Well, maybe it's choices. First one is whether you're gonna stay here in the Lifestream with Aeris and me, or go back to life. If ya choose the latter, then…well, you gotta decide if you wanna wake up like Tifa wants, or…you're willing to take up the Cetra on their proposition. 'Course, if you do that and succeed, you'll erase all the events starting from Nibelheim across all the worlds. Don't ask me how that works, but it does, apparently. One hell of a way to get a girl off your back and save the planet in the process."

"I don't understand, Zack. Why me? Why not you? You were his friend, he trusts you, you'd be a great candidate." The blonde wasn't meeting his friend's gaze, choosing to focus instead on the patch of grass by his feet as he yanked idly at the nearest stems. Zack debated whether or not to warn the kid – so what if he was now technically the same age as Zack? Years spent floating about in the LIfestream counted too! – that Aeris didn't take kindly to people rooting up her garden, then shrugged. Cloud was a big boy now. He could take care of himself against an enraged Cetra.

Or so he told himself as he evaded the direct question by answering with another. "What do you remember about your life as a cadet, Cloud?"

A minute shrug. "Bits and pieces. You know how messed up I was after we escaped. I remember being miserable a lot of the time," and glowing blue eyes met Zack's for a moment, self-deprecating humour shining through. "I wasn't exactly top-flight SOLDIER material."

"Looks like you did well enough in the end, kid."

Cloud gave him a half-hearted glare. "Yeah, after five years of tinkering by that bastard Hojo."

"But what else do you remember?" his friend persisted, reaching out to lift his chin so that he could no longer avoid that unnervingly direct gaze.

"I don't know. I told you, bits and pieces. I remember Reno was in my class for a while, although we didn't really get along. Still don't. But he's a good person to have with you in a fight, if it's in his best interests. I remember you putting me in a headlock in the cafeteria once for calling you a hedgehog – but you know, you called me 'chocobo-head' first," Cloud pointed out testily. "I remember flunking ignominiously out of the SOLDIER exams, and being so incredibly _humiliated_ and the way the others were looking at me with pity in their eyes and wanting to strangle them for looking at me that way. And I remember the way he…." Cloud's low tenor faltered, and from the look in his eyes, Zack knew exactly who '_he'_ was. He smiled crookedly.

"Go on."

The blonde shook his head stubbornly. "Nothing. It's a blank. I remember Nibelheim, and then everything goes fractured again."

"Spikey…"

"_Zack_." The uncharacteristically harsh tone in Cloud's voice made his friend pause. Ah. Okay. They'd gotten to the touchy part again.

"Cloud. I'm not trying to snoop around in your personal business. But I gotta know…the Cetra have 'ta know that you understand why it has to be you. Could _only_ be you."

"There must be an entire universe of little cadets who worshipped Sephiroth, Zack!" and the hostility in Cloud's voice was coming through loud and clear. "Why me?"

Zack shoved his face into Cloud's and snarled back with equal viciousness, "Because, Cloud, none of 'em ever stood up to him and _won_ - except for _you_." The kid wanted to play it rough, fine. The gloves were coming off now. "Because none of 'em ever cared enough about him enough to try and stop the madness from taking the man he had been, except for you Because…because…" he sighed heavily, "because…for whatever reason…something about you gets through to him enough every time that he drops his guard for you and lets you kill him." Way to go, Zack. Guilt trip the kid, why don't ya, he thought glumly to himself. Aeris so owed him for this.

Cloud closed his eyes as if to ward off some painful vision, a faint furrow appearing on his brow. "Is that all I am, Zack? A weapon? A tool for the Cetra to meddle in the fate of the Planet – of all the Planets?"

Again a question for a question. "Does it matter if it's what you want to do anyway?" Zack asked soberly.

His friend's snort was muffled by the fact that Cloud had buried his head in his arms. "Minor point, but it would be better for my ego to think that I might matter because of who I am, and not what I am. And how do you know what I want to do anyway?"

"Now you know how Seph felt."

Glowing blue eyes snapped up and fixed Zack with a glare. "You sure you aren't part-Cetra somewhere way back in that family tree?"

Zack snickered. "Nah. I'm from Gongaga, remember? No self-respecting Cetra would be caught dead there. Hell, I hightailed it out of there soon as I could, didn't I?"

The long-suffering look Cloud bestowed upon him slid right off his grinning joker's exterior. The blonde opened his mouth to deliver a riposte, but shut it with an audible click as the landscape around them rippled again and the sky above them began to darken ever so slightly, matching the expression on Zack's face. "Ah, hell. Sorry kid, we're running out of time. You're gonna have to choose now. Wake up for your friends, or for him. Your pick. I told Aeris I'd stay out of it once you had all the information you needed to decide."

"What if I fail, Zack?"

"Then you'll just have to stop him again," Zack shrugged optimistically. "Easy-peasy. Ain't no different than what you'd have to do anyhow. But at least this way, there's a chance that you won't have to. And that's better than the certainty of having to kill him again, ain't it?"

"Will you be there?"

The wistful note in Cloud's voice almost undid the dark-haired SOLDIER. "Sure. I mean, I won't remember nothing, and you'll be older than I will, but I'll be there. You'll just have'ta work for the pleasure of my friendship again is all. Aeris will remember though. It's that Cetra thing, and they need someone to fix things on the ground anyway. Heh," he chuckled reminiscently, "that used to be my job when we were doin' recon. Seph was terrible at that sort of thing – for one thing, that head of hair was pretty distinctive."

"Like yours isn't," Cloud retorted tartly. "Hedgehog."

"Chocobo-head."

"Spinifex."

"Spikey." That last in warm tones of affection as he put the blonde in a headlock that had them laughing and squirming about in the grass. A shadow fell over the pair and they broke apart hurriedly. Aeris looked down on the two young men, lips twitching, belying the stern look on her sweet face.

"All settled then? Because if so we should get moving."

Cloud looked steadily at her. "I'm ready," and the settled certainty in his voice made Zack smile. The kid had grown up all right. All right.

Aeris returned that regard with sparkling, wise eyes. "Then close your eyes and think of who it is you wish to see."

And he obeyed, surrendering to the darkness. And thought of cat-like green eyes set in a sere face that tried but failed to hide the fires that burned beneath that lonely mask. And of a warm smile for a frightened young cadet. And of a voice like black velvet, by turns commanding and kindly. And of awakening to its call.

* * *

"He's slipping away! Move it, move it!" 

"I've got an IV going, his pulse is steady but weakening, let's go!"

A voice, clearer than all the rest, commanding, demanding, almost…pleading…and he reached out for it, forcing his eyes to open and meet a brilliant flash of emerald green.

"Strife! Damn it, wake up! You stay awake, you hear me? That's an order, soldier."

The stunned surprise in Sephiroth's eyes as Cloud summoned up the wherewithal to give him a very, very small smile of assent was worth the effort. Staying awake was a pain, in this case, quite literally. But for him, Cloud would try. He'd made a choice, after all. And he'd see that choice through.

Although Aeris was going to have a lot of explaining to do.


	5. Sound Of Silence

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Not making any money from this. Love the thought of Sephiroth and Cloud, they'd be so good for each other. Please leave me a review if you like the story.

Author's Note: Sorry, know it's been a while. Been struggling with a few personal issues. Real life (work, illness) making it harder and harder to squirrel away bits of time to write, and it's taking all of my energy to stay focused on putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward. A heartfelt THANK YOU to all the faithful readers and reviewers who made time to leave me notes of encouragement, squees, and gentle prods to get off my duff, shake off the black dog of depression and get typing! Couldn't keep at it without all of you. So thank you all so very much. Not my best chapter, but hopefully the start of some decent writing again. Here's to 2007, a new year, a fresh start. And kazuhiko, this one is for you – thank you for all the messages of support.

* * *

_**Chapter 5: Sound Of Silence**_

_Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation!  
True gentlemen avoid it when they can  
But they dote and swoon and fawn  
On a lady who's withdrawn  
It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man!_

_- "Poor Unfortunate Souls", Disney's The Little Mermaid_

The sound of leaves rustling was the pleasant backdrop that Cloud awoke to, warm sunlight playing lazily about his face as it peeked in through gaps in the green canopy above. He was lying in a field of yellow and white stars – Aeris's garden, he realized belatedly as he blinked, sat up and passed a hand over his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. A soft sound of amusement made him look up, his instincts instantly snapping into high alertness, only to relax as he met the lady's grey gaze. Aeris smiled, that secretive smile that he had always found particularly charming – or infuriating, depending on whether or not one was sharing the secret – but said nothing. Instead she seemed to wear an air of expectancy, as though awaiting some kind of cue from Cloud.

"Aeris?"

Nothing but that half-smile. Cloud cleared his throat and tried again. Damn, but it was nice to be able to speak, even if it was only a dream!

"Um. Aeris? What am I doing here?"

She cocked her head to one side as she toyed with the end of her braid, tugging absently on the pink ribbon, but didn't say anything.

Cloud sighed heavily and began to get up. If the Cetra wasn't talking, she wasn't talking, and he was getting a little too old to be impetuous. Too old. Ha, Zack would never let it go if he heard that! And then the thought of Zack abruptly brought back memories of the events of the past few…hours? Days? He wasn't sure anymore, but he did remember with painful clarity the extended conversation he had had with his long lost friend, and really, it was hard to forget being shot twice in the same place, and he reached reflexively for his shoulder. Aeris's eyes followed the movement, and a rueful look flitted across her face as she somehow managed to convey her chagrin and apologies with the barest twitch of a lip.

"It's okay," Cloud felt compelled to reassure her. "Doesn't hurt here in the Lifestream. And I'm sure ShinRa's doctors are as…skilled…as they ever were, so my body's probably fine wherever it is, right?"

Aeris nodded. Her grey eyes continued to study him closely. Cloud shifted uncomfortably under the power of that silent, pellucid gaze.

"Hey, where's Zack? Now that we're in this…other world, does that mean I won't see him here in the Lifestream anymore?"

A slight tip of the head that seemed to convey the question, "Well, what do you think?"

Cloud rolled his eyes. What was with the Cetra inability to give a straight answer anyway? "Ah…it doesn't really matter, I'll see him when I wake up anyway, if I'm in ShinRa's infirmary." He hesitated, then added, "That _is_ where I am, right? Sephiroth said he would take care of…." Ifrit, that sounded odd, trusting Sephiroth. But Sephiroth was different in this time, Cloud thought firmly, ignoring the snide voice that pointed out that sanity could be like that and as the General hadn't yet quite lost his marbles to that disembodied alien head….

The Cetra nodded again, but remained silent. The air around them echoed the stillness, the rustling that had roused Cloud only serving to further underscore the emptiness. No birds, Cloud noted absently. He sighed.

"Look, I'm sure this is all supposed to be incredibly meaningful in some deep Cetra fashion, but clearly I'm not getting it, and since Zack isn't here to explain things to me, perhaps you could get off the Cetra thing for a bit and try explaining it to me in simple terms? Words of one syllable, that sort of thing?" Cloud winced at the testiness in his own voice as a flicker of hurt crossed Aeris's normally serene face, and the annoyance he felt at his own behaviour only served to further fuel his irritation. "I mean, I signed up for this task to help Seph – I mean, the Planet, but I sure didn't get the memo that said I'd get shot again, or lose my voice – and is that permanent? – and what was that crap you fed the General and Zack about amnesia?" He was aware that he was ranting, his normally soft voice ringing hard like cold iron on stone, but this was ridiculous and the personality before him was evidently Aeris-the-Cetra as opposed to Aeris-the-flower-girl-and-friend, and really, the Cetra could be quite annoying, and why did he have to do all the talking anyway, he never enjoyed being the centre of attention in a conversation but what else could you do with Aeris playing the mute, when faced with impenetrable silence one _had_ to say _something_, which was always dangerous because it meant letting your guard down and…and….

Holy Gaia. He was aware he probably looked rather like a startled chocobo which had just had a worm go down the wrong way, but all he could do was gape as he realized the extent of the Cetra's scheming.

And Aeris smiled and nodded sweetly as the garden began to fade and he surrendered back to darkness.

* * *

Cloud jerked into awareness, the pain in his shoulder dulling to a throbbing ache. He vaguely felt a callused hand wrap itself loosely around his wrist as his arm was pressed gently but firmly against his chest, preventing him from moving his shoulder. The air was cold and dry in his lungs as he squinted against the glare of the lights, wincing and turning his head into the pillow as a shaft of pain lanced neatly through his left eyeball. He tried to croak out a protest, failed, mentally cursed the Cetra again and settled for making his displeasure known with a sound halfway between a moan and a grunt. There was a click and the lights dimmed to the point where he decided that he could chance opening his eyes again, so with great reluctance he pried his eyelids open…

…only to come face to face with a pair of mako blue eyes inches away from his own face. He couldn't help it. He gasped in surprise and threw himself back against the pillows, narrowly missing the metal headboard.

Zack grinned unrepentantly, but backed off enough to allow Cloud to look at him without his eyes crossing. "Hey, you're awake! The General sent me ta' check on ya. He'd have come himself, but he's stuck in some meeting with the muckety-mucks, y'know how it is." The dark-haired SOLDIER threw himself onto the bed, nearly sitting on Cloud's leg. "Oops. Sorry. How're you feeling?"

Cloud opened his mouth, remembered belatedly that he couldn't actually say anything, closed it huffily and settled for a shrug that didn't move his shoulder too much. Zack cocked an eyebrow at him. "That great, huh? Well, the docs patched your shoulder up pretty good, but you're gonna be healing for a bit, even with the Cure Seph administered _personally_." The arch of Zack's brow indicated quite clearly that the General was not in the habit of helping the doctors out with their patients, and Cloud flushed slightly under the SOLDIER's unblinking regard. He shifted uncomfortably, and Zack swung himself off the bed and moved to help him sit up a little further, tossing a pillow behind his back. "Here, lemme help with that, you're in no shape to be movin' around. Still, all things considered, ya ain't doing' too badly – tougher than you look, I'd say. Did'ja ever consider signing up for SOLDIER?"

Despite the slightly muzzy feeling in Cloud's head , the little voice of caution that had matured along with him was definitely awake and doing its job, because he managed to catch himself before nodding. Zack's tone had been casual – too casual, and the grin on his face didn't reach his eyes. Those familiar eyes, hints of their original grey hidden beneath the luminous blue gleam imparted by mako treatments, those eyes were sharp and watchful now, and as Cloud blinked and looked away from the intentness of that gaze, he realized two things.

One: there was a reason Zack had been a SOLDIER First Class at eighteen. He was damned good at his job. And even if Cloud did have five years on him now, he would have to stay on his toes so as not to arouse Zack's suspicions.

Two: Zack was not his friend here. At least, not yet. His heart sank as he contemplated the reality of it. The first time around, he had had Zack by his side to make life bearable. The thought of having to struggle through the coldness of ShinRa without his friend was daunting, to say the least. He sighed tiredly and shut his eyes as a wave of lassitude washed over him.

"Shall I take that as a no?" Zack asked, all too agreeably.

Cloud opened his eyes and gave the SOLDIER his best blank look as he furrowed his brow slightly and brought his uninjured hand up to rub lightly at his temple. Ah, amnesia, that old ploy…such a wonderful refuge. Clever, clever Aeris.

"Ah, right, I forgot," said the SOLDIER, sucking at his teeth thoughtfully. Was that the barest hint of a mocking tone in his voice? "Sorry. You probably don't know what SOLDIER is, eh? Sorry. Must be hard, not remembering anything. Not even your name? I know we've been callin' ya Strife – you don't mind, right? - but that's just 'cause Seph thinks you look a lot like this guy he knew way back when. 's not a bad name though, really. Better than a lot of names. I knew this guy named Buttercup once. Hell of a SOLDIER, but man, the razzing he took…."

So his guess was right - Sephiroth _had_ known his father. How? Why? And was that the reason that Sephiroth let his guard down around him? Despite the unease that this discovery of how their fates had been seemingly twisted together long ago was causing in the pit of his stomach, Cloud filed that piece of information away and allowed a hopeful look to cross his face – it wouldn't seem out of line for an amnesiac to grasp eagerly at straws that might lead to one's identity, he figured.

"Don't know nothing about that," Zack replied in answer to the look. "Ask the General, maybe he'll tell ya. He said to tell you he'd come by after all his meetings were done too. Until then, I'm all you've got by way of entertainment." Cloud raised an enquiring brow, and Zack shrugged. "Well, long as you're awake, someone has to keep an eye on you. See that you have everything you need, that sort of thing." And keep him safely confined, Cloud tacked on mentally, he was an unknown security risk after all. He shivered involuntarily, and the audacity of what the Cetra had planned suddenly sank in.

He was alone. In the heart of ShinRa Headquarters, never a pleasant place even on the best of days. With no means of communication, no allies, and, at least to everyone around him, no memory of who he was. And he was supposed to change the course of all the worlds. Oh dear. A wave of dizziness hit him, and he squeezed his eyes shut, swallowing hard as he tried to ride out the nausea. Turning his face into the rough cottony surface of the too-thin infirmary pillow, he breathed in the scent of fresh linen and willed himself not to panic, although that resolution fell by the wayside as a heavy hand fell on his shoulder and he flinched involuntarily. Yet the touch was firm but not unkind as it moved down to rub small circles on his back.

"Hey – you all right kid?" Zack's voice was surprisingly kind. "Sorry, didn't mean ta' upset ya. I mean, couldn't have been fun taking that shot for the General and all, and as much of a pain in the butt as he can be at times, I wouldn't want to serve under anyone else. He's a good man. And I never thanked ya for savin' Aeris, did I? She's my girl, y'know – great gal. When you feel better, we'll go by her place so she can thank you in person, all right? She's a great cook, you'll like her meatloaf, way better than anything we serve 'round here. Tell you what, I'll see if I can sneak something in for ya – the crap they serve in the infirmary 'll make you sicker, if you ask me."

Cloud took a deep breath and forced the tension in his shoulders to ease. Zack's use of the term, "kid," was an indication that – for now at least – the SOLDIER was satisfied with Cloud's bona fides and willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. And that meant that maybe, just maybe, they could be friends again. Right?

"_Will you be there?"_

"_Sure. I mean, I won't remember nothing, and you'll be older than I will, but I'll be there. You'll just have'ta work for the pleasure of my friendship again is all."_

He looked up and met Zack's chipper grin with a tentative smile. I can do this, Cloud thought. I have to.

* * *

"Tifa."

She squeezed her eyes shut a little more and tried to ignore the gently persistent hand on her shoulder. It had to be some ungodly early hour judging from the first faint hints of sunlight glowing through her eyelids; she was in no mood to wake up at the moment, and maybe if she pretended to be asleep….

"Tifa, come on girl. You'll be more comfortable on the bed."

Bed? Wasn't she already in bed? Her conscious mind roused itself with great reluctance and pried open an eye to survey its surroundings. The spare room came into focus, along with Cid's lined, worried face. She blinked slowly at him as her back began to make its protests known and the parched dry feel in her throat reminded her that drinking heavily on an empty stomach was not necessarily the most intelligent thing to do. "Wha…."

"Cloud's…not needing it right now. Come on, up ya go. What were ya thinkin', sleepin' on the floor after a night like that?"

Cloud. Memories of the previous night came flooding back, and she whipped her head around so fast that she was amazed she didn't develop whiplash. The bed was indeed as empty as Cid had indicated. The sheet was barely rumpled, and there was the faintest of indents on the pillow where a head had rested. Panic rose in her throat as she struggled to rise on legs grown stiff from her all-night vigil. "Where is he?"

Cid pursed his lips. "Wee-ell…that's hard to say."

Tifa's dark eyes flashed irritably. "What do you mean? Isn't he downstairs? Or has he run off again?" While she was desperately hoping for the former, even the latter would be fine as long as someone, _anyone_ had seen him leave and would be able to verify that he was all right.

Her grizzled friend sighed wearily. "Don't know for sure. His ride's still out back, so least if he's gone off, he hasn't gone far." There was a palpable hesitation in his voice, and Tifa was nothing if not tenacious.

"What aren't you telling me, Cid?"

He was silent, then stepped over to the window and lifted the sheer curtain, motioning to her to look. Complying, she saw Vincent Valentine standing in the backyard, shoulders hunched and one pale hand on Cloud's motorcycle, staring off into the distance. His voice was thoughtful as he murmured, "Vinnie was the first to notice he was gone. Been broodin' out there since. Won't say a word, except that every now and then he mumbles somethin' about not knowing if sins can be forgiven…but about tryin' anyway. Think it has something to do with the kid?"

Tifa put a hand to her mouth, recognizing the sentiment if not the words, and as if hearing her thoughts, Vincent turned ever so slightly, his narrow face angling up towards them as he straightened, although his eyes remained hooded in shadow. A dark lock of hair fell loosely across his face and he tossed it back casually over his shoulder, an eerily graceful gesture that reminded the viewers at the window of the prior night's revelations.

"For some reason, Vinnie seems to know more than he's tellin'. Maybe it's like he said last night, Hojo's meddlin' did somethin' to him, made him a little more sensitive or something. But somehow I think Cloud's all right. Old Red-Eyes wouldn't be this calm if he weren't." Cid shrugged phlegmatically, though the tightness of his jaw betrayed his unease with everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours. The grizzled pilot was a straight-up personality, and the murky uncertainty of the situation was doing nothing for his state of mind.

"I guess Cloud did wake up after all," Tifa muttered, more to herself than to Cid. She should feel a little more hurt, she thought vaguely, but somehow all she felt was a strange numbness. A silence more characteristic of the gruff pilot than the vivacious young woman settled over the pair as they continued to watch their red-cloaked friend from the window. A friend who seemed to be more of a stranger now than he had ever been before.

At last Cid stirred. "Wonder what Vinnie's looking at."

"A past that has yet to happen." Tifa didn't know where the seemingly contradictory words were coming from, but even as they fell from her lips, she knew them to be truth. "A future that has yet to be written."

"A present that…that should not be."

The pilot stared at her, even more bewildered than before. "What does _that _mean?"

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself tightly as if to stave off a chill wind. "I don't know, Cid. I don't know."

* * *

He came to consciousness again slowly, swimming up through a murky fog veined with twisting strands of gleaming green that eddied in his wake. The feathery skeins clung to him like new tendrils of ivy, and he tried to shake them off reflexively, but they persisted, twining around him irresistibly. He tried to grab a handful of them to yank them off him, but the green strands dissipated as he closed his fingers around them, only to reappear moments later, wrapped around his upper arm. Frustrated, he lashed out with a foot and abruptly found himself in the dark as the faint glow of the Lifestream coursing through those pulsating veins winked out. Spinning around in the featureless darkness left him feeling dizzy and disoriented, and he had resigned himself to sitting tight until a faint glimmer appeared in the distance. He reached out for it eagerly as it approached, panic making him greedy as he tried to grasp hold of the now blindingly bright strand that extended towards him, becoming a hand, becoming a face….

Sephiroth looked at him, green eyes hollow and lost.

A blinding pain shot through his shoulder, travelling down his arm and causing his fingers to go lifeless, and then he was falling away from Sephiroth, who stood and watched him go, a desolate bleakness etched harshly upon his face. He opened his mouth to call out to the General, but no sound came forth, much to his horror. The tall figure in the distance seemed to slump fractionally as if disappointed, and then Sephiroth turned and began to walk away, his silver mane fanning out behind him.

Nibelheim.

But that hadn't happened here yet, had it? He struggled to say something, but his silent cry echoed only his head. And then Sephiroth stopped, and turned to face him again, holding out one slender pale hand almost imploringly, and a soft whisper came towards him as if carried on the gentlest of breezes.

"Strife."

* * *

"Strife? It is all right, you are safe. No one will hurt you, I promise."

Cloud gasped for air, eyes blind with surprise as he struggled to sit up. A strong arm inserted itself behind his back, supporting his upper torso even as gentle pressure was applied to his chest to hold him down. The burst of energy was short-lived though, and Cloud could feel himself fading just as quickly as he was eased back onto the bed. He shook his head weakly to clear it, finally managing to focus on his caretaker.

Sephiroth looked back at him worriedly. "Do you feel any pain? I do not believe you have undone the healing, but you would know best."

At that moment, Cloud decided that it didn't really matter that he didn't have a voice, because he was overcome with the suspicion that he would have been left just as tongue-tied when faced with the reason for his current trials and tribulations up close and personal. Sephiroth's brows were currently knitted in concern, making his face look surprisingly young and vulnerable. His distinctive mane was pulled back carelessly into a high ponytail which swung freely down his back, a few stray locks falling free around his face. The silver-white strands contrasted sharply with the slight tan of his skin, the hint of high colour along his cheekbones the product of long hours spent in outdoors fighting on one front or another for ShinRa. It was odd, Cloud thought, how easily one forgot the true details of the man and remembered only the pallor of the hollow-cheeked lab-grown clones. Instead of his usual leather battle garb, Sephiroth was dressed simply in what looked to be a regulation black sweater devoid of any rank tabs and standard SOLDIER uniform pants bloused over combat boots, sleeves pushed midway up both arms. The only remnants of his usual appearance were the supple black leather gloves he was wearing and the brilliant green of his eyes.

He looked, in a word, devastatingly handsome.

Okay, so that was two words, Cloud thought fretfully, but damn it, he was allowed some fuzzy thoughts when confronted with his long-time, long-_dead_ crush-slash-hero-slash-nemesis, right? A dog-eared book lying crumpled on the sheets betrayed what the man had been doing while watching over Cloud from the hard plastic chair by the bedside, and there was just something so normal, so…_ordinary_ about it that it made the situation all the more fantastic, and he wondered if this was another odd dream sent by the Cetra to plague him. But when he opened his eyes again, Sephiroth was still standing there, looking just as he had before and not at all like the pallid, haunted figure of his nightmares.

"You still don't remember anything, do you?" Though phrased as a question, the tone made it a statement of fact.

Cloud shook his head. A flicker of disappointment crossed Sephiroth's face, but the mask of the General swiftly replaced it as a doctor came bustling up. "Ah, awake again I see! How are you feeling? Any pain?"

The blonde shook his head uncertainly. He had fallen asleep in the middle of one of Zack's ramblings about himself, a cadet named Gump and…shrimp? Something like that. His throat was dry, his eyes were gummy and he knew without having to ask for a mirror that his hair was probably even wilder than usual, if that was possible. Next to the pin-neat white coat of the doctor and Sephiroth's casual elegance, he felt rather like a particularly bedraggled chocobo, and he tugged uncomfortably at the too-thin sheets, wishing that he were in his usual dark garb instead of a papery, shapeless gown.

"Hmm. Hah. Yes." The doctor was prodding at Cloud's shoulder gleefully. His fingers were cold, and Cloud wondered if he couldn't have at least rubbed his hands together to warm them up first. "All better!" the man proclaimed proudly, looking for all the world like he had been the one to administer the Cure himself. Cloud rolled his eyes and started as he caught a matching glimmer of amusement in Sephiroth's gaze before the green eyes shuttered again as they turned towards the doctor.

"Then I take it he is ready to be released?"

Thin lips pursed. "Well…he really should be on bed rest. At least for another day or so. But other than that…yes. Physically at least, he appears to have wholly recovered from the gunshot wound, and from the minor concussion."

"And the amnesia?"

"Harder to say. Could be temporary, could be permanent." Cloud didn't like the way the doctor peered gleefully down at him through smudged glasses. "We've been experimenting with some new Mako-derived serums for accelerating nervous systems though – perhaps we could try…"

"No." That syllable dropped like a frigid icicle into the abrupt silence. "He is not a lab rat, Doctor. Until we know otherwise, he is a civilian guest and is to be treated as such. No experiments. No unauthorized treatments. Is that quite clear?"

"Really, General, I…"

"Must I repeat myself, Doctor?" Sephiroth's baritone was deceptively mild, yet there was something about it that promised dark deeds of pain with the doctor as their focus if the General was forced to go over his previous statements. The man swallowed. Hard. And in short order, Cloud found himself with discharge papers, an armful of nondescript fatigues and a bottle of painkillers, and strict instructions not to come back for anything less than death or dismemberment. The blonde looked forlornly at the bundle in his arms, then eyed Sephiroth hopefully as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"Your clothes were discarded after you were brought in – they were so torn as to be unsalvageable," explained the General sympathetically, stepping back to give him room, and Cloud mentally gave the man a point for being a good observer of body language. Sephiroth hesitated, then added, "You…there was no identification in them, in case that's what you were wondering. And your fingerprints don't show up in any of ShinRa's records, which means you have never worked for or with us before. Although I could have sworn…" he trailed off and looked away.

Cloud fought to keep the relief he felt from showing on his face. At least he was thoroughly unidentifiable to ShinRa – coupled with the faked amnesia, he wouldn't have to explain anything to anyone anytime soon. He wondered absently what this world's Cloud had wound up doing instead of joining SOLDIER. Was he working in Nibelheim? Running a bar with Tifa, perhaps? Or maybe he'd never even been born in this world, and a shiver went down his spine at the thought. At least he knew his father had existed. Even as a child he'd known about his resemblance to his father from the few faded pictures his mother had kept, but he hadn't seen those photographs since he was a boy. From Sephiroth's reaction to him though, it would appear that all he needed to do to see his father was to look in a mirror.

"You look like someone just walked over your grave," Sephiroth observed softly. "I am sorry. It was not my intent to distress you." One slender, gloved hand reached up and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. "I…Strife. May I call you Strife? It is difficult to have a conversation without a name."

Blue eyes flicked up at the polite request. So Sephiroth hadn't yet given up on this insistence that Cloud was the man he had known as Strife. It would make sense – he was used to responding to the name anyway, and maybe he'd get a chance further down the line to figure out what the relationship between Sephiroth and his father had been. So he nodded, shrugging to indicate that he didn't really care much one way or the other, as he supposed an amnesiac would.

"Strife. You took a bullet for me, and as such I owe you a debt of gratitude. Given your condition, I would like to offer….my home to you, while you recover. As I mentioned earlier, we have not been able to identify you, and hence are unable to contact your family. You need somewhere to stay, and while Zack informs me that Miss Gainsborough has made the offer, her home is not in the safest of sectors. As you well know." Green eyes flickered over Cloud's still-bandaged shoulder and the ghost of a wry smile flitted over the man's face. "Our background checks have revealed nothing untoward about you – technically, they have revealed nothing about you, Zack likes to remind me – but given your actions in aiding Miss Gainsborough and myself, it would be remiss of me not to look to your safety, and you would have access to follow-up medical care here, should it become necessary…."

Cloud cut off the man's uncharacteristic nervous rambling with a nod and what he hoped was a cautiously reassuring smile to mask his confusion. He got the impression that Sephiroth was waiting not only for agreement, but also for some sort of…approval? Approbation? Another puzzle piece to make fit. Why would his father's approval mean anything to the General of ShinRa? So many questions and so few answers, he sighed mentally. Still, he was healed, and thanks to the Cetra's machinations, well within Sephiroth's inner circle – he was going to be staying with the man, you couldn't get much closer than that! – which would make his job here that much easier. Clever, clever Aeris.

And if nothing else, he was out of that damned paper gown. Things were looking up.


End file.
